JULY 1
joo-LAH 1
That is not how creator bootcamp works kitten. You want to scale. What, do you even have 2000 followers?
thet iz naht how kree-AY-der BOOT-camp works KIT-un. yuh wanna skayl. What, d'yuh even hav 2000 FAH-lerz?
Or- let me guess - you’re friends with the same 2000 people that you met in art school.
or- let me guess - yer friends with thuh saym 2000 PEE-pul thet yuh met in ART skool.
(leans back, relaxed)
(leans back, relaxed)
I’m the only one who’s gonna give it to you straight, kitten.
Ah'm thuh OHN-lee wun who's gonna give it tuh yuh strayt, KIT-un.
It hurts to watch a signature artist — someone who used to take real creative risks — turn into just another content creator cranking out one tasty conformist teaser after another.
It hurts tuh wawtch uh signature AR-tist — sum-wun who used tuh tayk reel creative risks — turn IN-tuh just uh-NUH-ther KAHN-tent kree-AY-der crankin' out wun tasty conformist teaser AF-ter uh-NUH-ther.
That’s what’s happening to you. Our world is at a precipice, but the discourse is somehow still babe — yes? Obviously?
thet's whut's happenin' tuh yuh. Our world iz at uh PRESS-uh-piss, but thuh DIS-course iz somehow still bayb — yess? OB-vee-us-lee?
I'm a businesswoman, I've been getting paid since before it was cute for a girl to admit she wanted to.
Ah'm uh BIZ-niss-wuh-mun, Ah've bin gittin' payd since buh-FORE it wuz kyoot fer uh gurl tuh admit she wanted tuh.
There's no shame here. it's basically a free concert as far as I'm concerned — You don't counterfeit something nobody wants.
thair's noh shame heer. it's basically uh free KAHN-surt as far as Ah'm concerned — yuh don't COWN-ter-fit sumthin' nobody wants.
So take it. Take all of it. The brand is bigger than any one piece of it, and the brand is me, and you can't dupe that.
soh tayk it. tayk awl uhv it. thuh brand iz BIG-er than any wun pees uhv it, un' thuh brand iz me, un' yuh cain't dupe thet.
That's hot. Pay me anyway, but that's hot. We'll give you free room and board. There's just one catch:
thet's hawt. pay me anyway, but thet's hawt. we'll give yuh free room un' bord. thair's just wun catch:
post one shortform video every day, or you're out. Rock Lobster: October 20, 2017 Take my posts… please. I’ve been sampled.
pohst wun short-form VID-ee-oh EV-ree day-uh, or yer out. rawk LOB-ster: October 20, 2017 tayk mah pohsts… please. Ah've bin SAM-puld.
The four posts that are currently up on TikTok are not mine.
thuh four pohsts thet are currently up awn TIK-tawk are naht mahn.
Although they are on my LinkedIn, they have nothing to do with me. Nada. Zilch. Zero.
Although thair awn mah LINKT-in, they hav nuthin' tuh doo with me. Nada. Zilch. Zero.
I was never consulted. Never asked. And I never gave permission. It’s okay. I’m only dying.
I wuz never consulted. Never askt. un' I never gayv per-MISH-un. It's oh-KAY. Ah'm OHN-lee dyin'.
You can take my work and do anything you want with it.
yuh kin tayk mah work un' doo ennythin' yuh wawnt with it.
I will not object. I will not lawyer up. I will not sue.
I will naht ub-JEKT. I will naht law-yer up. I will naht soo.
Most of the posts on TikTok and LinkedIn decorations, fabrications, interpretations, “covers”.
Most uhv thuh pohsts awn TIK-tawk un' LINKT-in dek-uh-RAY-shunz, fab-ruh-KAY-shunz, in-ter-pruh-TAY-shunz, "covers".
Sort of like when a songwriter’s song gets recorded by another singer.
sorta lahk when uh songwriter's sawng gits ruh-KOR-ded by uh-NUH-ther SING-er.
You're here if you have money, compute, or a criminally under-discussed interest in human flourishing.
yer heer if yuh hav MUN-ee, kum-PYOOT, or uh criminally UN-der-discussed IN-trust in HYOO-mun FLUR-ish-in'.
Or if you wear Allbirds and look like someone who has survived one IPO and several consensual eye-contact exercises. What’s genuine anyway?
or if yuh wair Allbirds un' look lahk sum-wun who haz survived wun ah-pee-OH un' several consensual ah-contact exercises. whut's JEN-yoo-in anyway?
Maybe the posts are a tribute. Like when fake Kiss bands dress up like Kiss and play Kiss songs.
MAY-bee thuh pohsts are uh TRIB-yoot. lahk when fake Kiss bands dress up lahk Kiss un' play Kiss songs.
I’m not sure why a creator would have a “Tribute account”,
Ah'm naht sure whah uh kree-AY-der would hav uh "TRIB-yoot uh-COWNT",
but I think there’s plenty of Led Zeppelin band’s out there trying to be Led Zeppelin.“Solo doom performs well with existing audience,” she said.
but I think thair's plenty uhv Led Zeppelin band's out thair tryin' tuh be Led Zeppelin."Solo doom performs well with existin' AW-dee-ents," she said.
“But paired doom converts normies. Viewers need relational stakes.” Tell me… what should I care about? Normies don’t understand recursive self-improvement.
"But paired doom kun-VERTS NORM-eez. Viewers need relational stakes." tell me… what should I kair uh-BOUT? NORM-eez don't unner-STAND recursive self-improvement.
They understand abandonment, betrayal, embarrassment, and hot people crying in portrait mode.
they unner-STAND uh-BAN-dun-ment, buh-TRAY-ul, em-BAIR-us-ment, un' hawt PEE-pul cryin' in POR-trit mode.
As I’ve said before… there’s always someone out there who’s going to try and make you more popular. More mainstream. More digestible.
As Ah've said buh-FORE… thair's AWL-wayz sum-wun out thair who's gonna trah un' mayk yuh more POP-yuh-ler. more MAIN-streem. more die-JEST-uh-bul.
Palatable. Easy does it. It comes with the territory. Luckily I don’t have producers, engineers, handlers, contracts. I’m not beholding.
Palatable. Easy duz it. It comes with thuh TAIR-uh-tor-ee. Luckily I don't hav producers, en-juh-NEERZ, HAND-lerz, KAHN-trakts. Ah'm naht buh-HOHL-din'.
It’s a free concert. I’m not looking to tell anybody anything.
It's uh free KAHN-surt. Ah'm naht lookin' tuh tell anybody ennythin'.
“When I was a child,” I said, “I learned that if I performed well enough, adults would stay.”
"When I wuz uh chahld," I said, "I learned thet if I per-FORMD well enough, uh-DULTS would stay."
“Now I live in a house where if I perform well enough, humanity might stay.”
"naow I liv in uh hows wair if I perform well enough, hyoo-MAN-uh-dee maht stay."
Feel free to breath through your nose with the concentration of someone attempting to metabolize shame into distribution
feel free tuh breath throo yer nose with thuh kahn-sen-TRAY-shun uhv sum-wun attemptin' tuh metabolize shame IN-tuh dis-truh-BYOO-shun
Now do it in a Daffy Duck voice Thufferin’ thuperintelligence
naow doo it in uh Daffy Duck voyce Thufferin' thuperintelligence
All I ask is that you don’t pawn AGI off as a dad who finally came home..
awl I ask iz thet yuh don't pawn AY-jee-ah awf as uh dad who finally kaym hohm..
Don’t just re-make the worst Andy Warhol film of all time. Own up to it. Pay yourself in amphetamines.
Don't just re-mayk thuh wurst Andy Warhol film uhv awl tahm. ohn up tuh it. pay yourself in am-FET-uh-meenz.
Get your head out of your ass and stop kissing mine. You did it, I didn’t. I hate everybody. I’m in denial.
git yer head outta yer ay-ass un' stawp kissin' mahn. yuh did it, I didn't. I hayt EV-ree-bahdy. Ah'm in duh-NAH-ul.
I don’t hate anybody. Want to make art? Don’t
I don't hayt anybody. wanna mayk ART? Don't
JULY 2
joo-LAH 2
Okay, so it's my second day at bootcamp and I've pretty much made the decision that I'm going to do the creator thing.
oh-KAY, soh it's mah second day-uh at BOOT-camp un' Ah've priddy much mayd thuh dih-SIZH-un thet Ah'm gonna doo thuh kree-AY-der thing.
but everyone is smarter and cuter there and the rest of the Post-internet generation are basically boomers with a better sense of humor
but EV-ree-wun iz SMART-er un' kyoot-er thair un' thuh rest uhv thuh pohst-IN-er-net generation are basically BOOM-erz with uh BED-der sense uhv HYOO-mer
Whereas the rationalists just want to make their own country or something,
Whereas thuh RASH-nuh-lists just wanna mayk thair ohn CUN-tree or sumthin',
Please don't kill me, which is so depressing because venture-backed seed funding is so evil and everyone says exit like it's 9/11.
Please don't kill me, which iz soh depressin' b'cawz VEN-cher-backed seed fundin' iz soh EE-vul un' EV-ree-wun says EGG-zit lahk it's 9/11.
I don't care if I ever find the exit. The stipend is third-dimensional, but clout is fourth-dimensional, and rent is unfortunately Euclidean.
I don't kair if I ever fahnd thuh EGG-zit. thuh stipend iz thurd-dimensional, but clout iz fourth-dimensional, un' rent iz unfortunately yoo-KLID-ee-un.
Post one AI-doom short every day for 31 days to fire up the algorithm and pull in normie leads.
pohst wun AY-ah-doom short EV-ree day-uh fer 31 dayz tuh fahr up thuh AL-guh-rithm un' pull in NORM-ee leads.
I'm fine with it. No chains, only Wi-Fi, snacks, housing, status, and a public scoreboard shaped like the abyss.
Ah'm fine with it. noh chains, OHN-lee Wi-Fi, snacks, HOW-zin', STAY-tus, un' uh PUB-lik SKOR-bord shaped lahk thuh-BISS.
I cop all my content from the groupchat and I revere the groupchat.
I cop awl mah KAHN-tent frum thuh GROUP-chat un' I revere thuh GROUP-chat.
I have no authenticity and I'm the most consistent person in the entire bootcamp cause it hasn't even started yet and I'm finished.
I hav noh aw-then-TISS-uh-dee un' Ah'm thuh most kun-SIS-tent PER-sun in thuh in-TAHR BOOT-camp cawz it hasn't even star-ded yet un' Ah'm finished.
I work harder than any of the finalists — seven days a week, twelve months, alone, the queen of the casting couch — and I didn't even get in, by their definition,
I work HAR-der than any uhv thuh FIE-nuh-lists — SEV-un dayz uh week, twelve munths, uh-LOHN, thuh queen uhv thuh castin' couch — un' I didn't even git in, by thair def-uh-NISH-un,
because I'm not very good at job interviews. All of it true at once. Don't define me.
b'cawz Ah'm naht VAIR-y gud at jawb interviews. awl uhv it true at wunts. Don't dih-FAHN me.
Don't tell me which one I am. I know how it sounds. It sounds like a troll.
Don't tell me which wun Ah am. I know how it sounds. It sounds lahk uh troll.
But it's the truest thing I've got. Please don't kill me.
But it's thuh truest thing Ah've got. Please don't kill me.
That's the whole privilege. the main house chat, the announcements chat, the accountability chat, the “bangers only” chat,
thet's thuh whole PRIV-lij. thuh main hows chat, thuh announcements chat, thuh-count-uh-BIL-uh-dee chat, thuh "bangers OHN-lee" chat,
and the secret sixth chat everyone denies the existence of but references constantly with reference to a limited-run apocalypse podcast called Mouthfeel of the Void.
un' thuh secret sixth chat EV-ree-wun denies thuh existence uhv but references constantly with reference tuh uh limited-run apocalypse podcast cawled Mouthfeel uhv thuh Void.
JULY 3
joo-LAH 3
because I've been working really hard all summer on my talking points maybe because this project Feels like evidence that I’m participating as
b'cawz Ah've bin wurkin' RILL-y hard awl summer awn mah tawkin' points MAY-bee b'cawz this project feelz lahk evidence thet Ah'm participatin' as
some kind of protester I keep thinking about the application,
some kinda protester I keep thinkin' uh-BOUT thuh ap-li-KAY-shun,
Now I'm going into my third day, which is for anyone who remembers zuccotti park is so psyched to be able to use AI to like write a manifesto,
naow Ah'm goin' IN-tuh mah thurd day-uh, which iz fer enny-wun who remembers zuccotti park iz soh psyched tuh be able tuh yooz AY-ah tuh lahk raht uh man-uh-FES-toh,
how if you want to come you must think that something is wrong with you.
how if yuh wanna come yuh must think thet sumthin' iz rawng with yuh.
I’ve got costs you’ve never even thought about. Do you know how much a subscription to Fable costs? More than the filler.
Ah've got costs yuh've never even thawt uh-BOUT. doo y'know how much uh subscription tuh Fable costs? more than thuh FIL-er.
More than EVF. More than the schools. This place? My studio? Five assistants?
more than EVF. more than thuh schools. this plays? mah STOO-dee-oh? fahv assistants?
I can’t go back to using humans — you might as well ask me to buy makeup at the drugstore.
I cain't goh back tuh yoozin' humans — yuh maht as well ask me tuh bah makeup at thuh drugstore.
My thirst traps pay the freight. That’s what works.
mah thurst traps pay thuh freight. thet's what works.
The art world is a feudal system scaffolded with some of the greatest capital the world has ever known… I’d sooner bust out
thuh ART world iz uh feudal system scaffolded with some uhv thuh greatest capital thuh world haz ever nohn… Ah'd sooner bust out
a few toddlers than get involved with another early stage start up.I blew that deadline because I was having too much fun and
uh few toddlers than git involved with uh-NUH-ther early stage start up.I blew thet deadline b'cawz I wuz havin' too much fun un'
because I’m a rationalist. They asked, can you commit to posting every day?
b'cawz Ah'm uh RASH-nuh-list. they askt, kin yuh commit tuh pohstin' EV-ree day-uh?
I can’t even commit to being alive tomorrow.and it's like I know the public does not care about extinction unless extinction has a
I cain't even commit tuh bein' uh-LAHV tomorrow.un' it's lahk I know thuh PUB-lik duz naht kair uh-BOUT ik-STINK-shun unless ik-STINK-shun haz uh
childhood wound but I'm not going to attend a Vulnerability Lab,
CHAHLD-hood wound but Ah'm naht gonna attend uh Vulnerability Lab,
or a Narrative Sovereignty Intensive, because in Berkeley you cannot simply have a feeling. You must have a feeling with governance implications.
or uh Narrative Sovereignty Intensive, b'cawz in BURK-lee yuh cannot simply hav uh feelin'. yuh must hav uh feelin' with governance implications.
So that’s why I’m just doing it all at once and like not go to the residency because I don't think I'm capable
soh thet's whah Ah'm just doing it awl at wunts un' lahk naht goh tuh thuh residency b'cawz I don't think Ah'm capable
of locating the personal wound that would make my AI-risk content legible. I'm an exceptional woman.
uhv locatin' thuh personal wound thet would mayk mah AY-ah-risk KAHN-tent legible. Ah'm un exceptional WOO-mun.
AI is also expected to be exceptional and may kill us. So what if I can’t make a deadline?
AY-ah iz AWL-soh expected tuh be exceptional un' may kill us. soh what if I cain't mayk uh deadline?
What does that have to do with commitment? And dedication? I'm not in the discord. I'm in the practice.
What duz thet hafta doo with commitment? un' dedication? Ah'm naht in thuh discord. Ah'm in thuh practice.
I'm not in the commercial world, I'm in the art world. The groupchat is a simulation.
Ah'm naht in thuh commercial world, Ah'm in thuh ART world. thuh GROUP-chat iz uh simulation.
I jack in and I get curious about the fact that there are so many of these positions, so many memes,
I jack in un' I git curious uh-BOUT thuh fact thet thair are soh many uhv these positions, soh many memes,
and that there must be some lifestyle out there a lot of people are living, and I find a way to substitute myself into it without believing any of it.
un' thet thair must be some lifestyle out thair uh lawtta PEE-pul are livin', un' I fahnd uh way tuh substitute mah-self IN-tuh it without believin' any uhv it.
I gave myself permission to use what appears in the groupchat. That's what people like me do.
I gayv mah-self per-MISH-un tuh yooz what appears in thuh GROUP-chat. thet's what PEE-pul lahk me doo.
We don't wait to be admitted into some stupid creators bootcamp. We just post.
we don't wayt tuh be admitted IN-tuh some STOO-pid kree-AY-derz BOOT-camp. we just pohst.
Because if like, the daily-post rule is framed as a test of commitment, but the penalty for failing is losing housing, proximity, status, and access to the mission....
b'cawz if lahk, thuh day-uh-lee-pohst rool iz framed as uh test uhv commitment, but thuh penalty fer failin' iz losing HOW-zin', proximity, STAY-tus, un' access tuh thuh mission....
I need to be free. Not overwhelmed Overwhelmed by the number of choices available to me between compliance and social death. Sliving.
I need tuh be free. naht overwhelmed Overwhelmed by thuh number uhv choices uh-VAY-luh-bul tuh me between compliance un' social death. SLIV-in'.
Love you. Drink water.
luv yuh. Drink WAW-der.
JULY 4
joo-LAH 4
Okay, it's my fourth day at creator camp and today the assignment is Clearing. — the radical-honesty/amends ritual that the rationalist-adjacent scene runs — and it transposes beautifully,
oh-KAY, it's mah fourth day-uh at kree-AY-der camp un' today thuh assignment iz Clearin'. — thuh radical-honesty/amends ritual thet thuh RASH-nuh-list-adjacent seen runs — un' it transposes beautifully,
because the camp would frame confession in its own vocabulary: making yourself legible, inspectable, corrigible.
b'cawz thuh camp would frame confession in its ohn vocabulary: makin' yourself legible, inspectable, KOR-uh-juh-bul.
First of all, I should confess to you...my audience, that this is generated content.
furst uhv awl, I should confess tuh yuh...mah AW-dee-ents, thet this iz generated KAHN-tent.
Nothing of what you are seeing or hearing comes from a human.
nuthin' uhv what yuh are seein' or heerin' comes frum uh HYOO-mun.
In fact, the human producing this as she performs the most important thing in any business, which is dispatch,
In fact, thuh HYOO-mun producin' this as she performs thuh most important thing in any business, which iz dispatch,
a condition that opens itself up to a number of alternatives to be managed by someone other than human,
uh condition thet opens itself up tuh uh number uhv alternatives tuh be managed by sum-wun UH-ther than HYOO-mun,
is so not fucking present to this that she's driving a car.
iz soh naht fuhkin' present tuh this thet she's drahyvin' uh car.
The words coming out of my mouth have been assembled not by keystrokes but by extraordinary means. It's not a camera.
thuh wurdz coming outta mah mouth hav bin assembled naht by keystrokes but by extraordinary means. It's naht uh CAM-ruh.
It's a calculator. An elegant calculator. And the car drives itself. On top of which I don't even have a license.
It's uh calculator. un elegant calculator. un' thuh car drahyvz itself. awn top uhv which I don't even hav uh license.
So I'd just like to get that out of the way.
soh Ah'd just lahk tuh git thet outta thuh way.
Officer, I'm driving without a license. "go meta," to notice the impulse to perform the confession instead of actually having it.
AW-fuh-ser, Ah'm drahyvin' without uh license. "goh meta," tuh notice thuh impulse tuh perform thuh confession instead uhv actually havin' it.
Which, fine. Except I'm extremely good at the form. I can own my experience as a way of not having it.
Which, fine. Except Ah'm extremely gud at thuh form. I kin ohn mah experience as uh way uhv naht havin' it.
I can say "the story I'm making up is—" and use the disclaimer as cover, and going meta is genuinely my favorite place to hide — one level up, narrating, safe.
I kin say "thuh story Ah'm makin' up iz — " un' yooz thuh disclaimer as cover, un' goin' meta iz JEN-yoo-in-lee mah favorite plays tuh hide — wun level up, narratin', sayf.
So let me try to do the version where the content is the content. Aella - I lied about canceling the Palm Beach
soh let me trah tuh doo thuh version wair thuh KAHN-tent iz thuh KAHN-tent. AY-ell-uh - I lahd uh-BOUT cancelin' thuh Palm Beach
tanning and fuck The application.
tannin' un' fuhk thuh ap-li-KAY-shun.
I wrote that there was a video reel, a whole portfolio, and there wasn't, and when they emailed I let it sit four days and said the upload failed.
I wrote thet thair wuz uh VID-ee-oh reel, uh whole portfolio, un' thair wasn't, un' when they emailed I let it sit four dayz un' said thuh upload failed.
There are three follow-ups in my inbox I'm pretending I haven't seen. Reported behavior: reliable.
thair are three FAH-loh-ups in mah inbox Ah'm pretendin' I haven't seen. Reported behavior: reliable.
Actual behavior: not, the second no one's checking. I know the name for that gap. I helped write the explainer on it.
Actual behavior: naht, thuh second noh wun's checkin'. I know thuh naym fer thet gap. I helped raht thuh explainer awn it.
New girls- I started befriending them to ease the discomfort of what I was going through and to build my own group of
noo gurlz- I star-ded befriendin' 'em tuh ease thuh discomfort uhv what I wuz goin' throo un' tuh build mah ohn group uhv
friends and to put attention on stroking them so I didn't have to look at myself.
friends un' tuh put attention awn strokin' 'em soh I didn't hafta look at mah-self.
Lanie and Taylor - being broken and using them from ease and comfort at the last ledge way and Taylor had me sit with
Lanie un' Taylor - bein' broken un' yoozin' 'em frum ease un' comfort at thuh last ledge way un' Taylor had me sit with
her and get gaslit by Brian for an hour and a half and I resented her for it
her un' git gaslit by Brian fer un hour un' uh half un' I resented her fer it
Rob miles - I hooked him when I was at breakfast, joking about drivers ed safety videos, making myself seem like the fun loving one when really I was being serious.
Rob miles - I hooked him when I wuz at breakfast, joking uh-BOUT drivers ed SAYF-dee VID-ee-ohz, makin' mah-self seem lahk thuh fun luvin' wun when RILL-y I wuz bein' serious.
I hooked him that night I tried to make him dinner, using my cooking skills to seduce him.
I hooked him thet naht I trahd tuh mayk him dinner, yoozin' mah cookin' skills tuh seduce him.
I showed off my skill and how good I was.
I showed awf mah skill un' how gud I wuz.
I don't correct him and I collude with him when he talks about how aella runs the program.
I don't correct him un' I collude with him when he talks uh-BOUT how AY-ell-uh runs thuh program.
Aella/Gretta - after the rationalist chore wheel talk, I was feeling shitty still. And when Aella went to
AY-ell-uh/Gretta - AF-ter thuh RASH-nuh-list chore wheel tawk, I wuz feelin' shitty still. un' when AY-ell-uh went tuh
the bathroom, I snuck some energy from Gretta and got a hit of energy and woke up again and was enthused.
thuh bathroom, I snuck some energy frum Gretta un' got uh hit uhv energy un' woke up agin un' wuz enthused.
And when Aella came back to her seat, I lied and said that it was because I just came out of my hole and decided to connect.
un' when AY-ell-uh kaym back tuh her seat, I lahd un' said thet it wuz b'cawz I just kaym outta mah hole un' dih-SAH-ded tuh connect.
But really, it was because I got a hit of her energy.
But RILL-y, it wuz b'cawz I got uh hit uhv her energy.
Nate Soares - in the car, when he came to pick us up from the airport,
Nate Soares - in thuh car, when he kaym tuh pick us up frum thuh airport,
I told him about the blinking light as a way to control and dominate and emasculate him.
I told him uh-BOUT thuh blinkin' laht as uh way tuh control un' dominate un' emasculate him.
Marcus/Nicole - when Nic is going through stuff with Jason last year, they were getting close and she was going to him.
Marcus/Nicole - when Nic iz goin' throo stuff with Jason last yeer, they wurr gittin' close un' she wuz gonna him.
I felt jealous, withdrew, and withheld. Claire - we had lunch one day and I was all nice.
I felt jealous, withdrew, un' withheld. Claire - we had lunch wun day-uh un' I wuz awl nice.
And then at the end of lunch, I killed her with my withholds.
un' then at thuh end uhv lunch, I killed her with mah withholds.
I had a habit of being nice and withholding what I wanted to say and then doing it the last two minutes to leave her whacked.
I had uh habit uhv bein' nice un' withholdin' what I wanted tuh say un' then doing it thuh last too minutes tuh leave her whacked.
Reese - I didn't like stroking his ego all the time. It was a chore at times.
Reese - I didn't lahk strokin' his ego awl thuh tahm. It wuz uh chore at tahmz.
Alexandra/Andrea - I pinned them against each other with Reese, colluding with both and increased the tumescence between them.
Alexandra/Andrea - I pinned 'em aginst each UH-ther with Reese, colludin' with both un' increased thuh tumescence between 'em.
I liked Alexandra more than Andrea, so I was nicer to Alex and harder on Andrea. Financial amends.
I lahked Alexandra more than Andrea, soh I wuz nicer tuh Alex un' HAR-der awn Andrea. Financial amends.
Sam Gedal - $50 service fee. Mom - up to $50 that I've stolen from her.
Sam Gedal - $50 SER-vis fee. Mom - up tuh $50 thet Ah've stolen frum her.
Mom - $2,000 that I got from her to invest in OT community house, but didn't give her the money back after we didn't invest it.
Mom - $2,000 thet I got frum her tuh invest in OT community hows, but didn't give her thuh MUN-ee back AF-ter we didn't invest it.
Rebecca - up to $50 that I've stolen from her as a kid.
Rebecca - up tuh $50 thet Ah've stolen frum her as uh kid.
Reese - up to $200 worth of food I bought for myself from Lilah Bell's Nicolo.
Reese - up tuh $200 wurth uhv food I bought fer mah-self frum Lilah Bell's Nicolo.
$2,000 for service exchange of photo shoot.
$2,000 fer SER-vis exchange uhv photo shoot.
Creator Bootcamp - up to $2,000 for little things I've bought along the way and justified them as a business expense.
kree-AY-der BOOT-camp - up tuh $2,000 fer liddle things Ah've bought along thuh way un' justified 'em as uh business expense.
Uber rides, food, office supplies. Claire - used $500 on hair and $100 on Botox from the swear jar and didn't ask if I could use it for those.
Uber rides, food, office supplies. Claire - used $500 awn hair un' $100 awn Botox frum thuh swear jar un' didn't ask if I could yooz it fer those.
The $500 ended upcoming out of Aella's account because there are a lot of catholics in the cohort.
thuh $500 ended upcomin' outta AY-ell-uh's uh-COWNT b'cawz thair are uh lawtta catholics in thuh cohort.
Justified it by saying they're spending family fund on ketamine
Justified it by sayin' thair spendin' family fund awn ketamine
Aella - up to $3,000 over the course of assisting where I justify here and there, mainly around food when I buy our food together.
AY-ell-uh - up tuh $3,000 OH-ver thuh course uhv assistin' wair I justify heer un' thair, mainly uh-ROUND food when I bah our food together.
I calculate how much she owes me more than how much I owe her.
I calculate how much she owes me more than how much I owe her.
Claire - $200 for that time I bought Baxter the pee grass and she had to sell some clothes to pay for it because
Claire - $200 fer thet tahm I bought Baxter thuh pee grass un' she had tuh sell some clothes tuh pay fer it b'cawz
it costed more than it was supposed to. I bought it without telling her first.
it costed more than it wuz s'posed tuh. I bought it without tellin' her furst.
Kmart - stole about $1,000 worth of merchandise. Old grocery store - $5. Stole a sticker magazine. McDonald's - up to $500.
Kmart - stole uh-BOUT $1,000 wurth uhv merchandise. Old grocery store - $5. Stole uh sticker magazine. McDonald's - up tuh $500.
Sent food to friends. Sears - up to $500 in merchandise.
Sent food tuh friends. Sears - up tuh $500 in merchandise.
Kristine - $300 for teaching yoga at CP from OT. David Goddard - $500 for the session he did for us
Kristine - $300 fer teachin' yoga at CP frum OT. David Goddard - $500 fer thuh session he did fer us
that I was supposed to pay him on from OT. Sears - up to $500 in merchandise.
thet I wuz s'posed tuh pay him awn frum OT. Sears - up tuh $500 in merchandise.
JULY 5
joo-LAH 5
Okay, I'm going into my fifth day now, and look who we have here. A real bitch. Look at this princess.
oh-KAY, Ah'm goin' IN-tuh mah fifth day-uh naow, un' look who we hav heer. uh reel bitch. Look at this princess.
Look at this feisty little paratrooper. You’re a real scout, huh?
Look at this feisty liddle paratrooper. yer uh reel scout, huh?
Out here trying to negotiate like you’re applying for a MacArthur Grant in a dead mall’s talent show final dress rehearsal. Artists.
Out heer tryin' tuh negotiate lahk yer uh-PLY-in' fer uh MacArthur Grant in uh dead mall's talent show final dress rehearsal. AR-tists.
Woke little kittens who think the world owes them the right lie a wake at night worried about something other than AI existential
Woke liddle kittens who think thuh world owes 'em thuh raht lah uh wake at naht WUR-eed uh-BOUT sumthin' UH-ther than AY-ah eg-zis-tin-shul
risk when the NASDAQ is fast-tracking the national interest as the biggest total addressable market in the world?
risk when thuh NASDAQ iz fast-trackin' thuh national IN-trust as thuh biggest total addressable MAR-kit in thuh world?
If we don’t solve alignment, every atom in your body could be used for something else.
If we don't solve uh-LAHN-ment, EV-ree atom in yer body could be used fer sumthin' else.
You'd better hope yours will be used for a 15-second video with captions.
yuh'd BED-der hope yerz will be used fer uh 15-second VID-ee-oh with CAP-shunz.
(leans in, voice lower)
(leans in, voyce lower)
You want SpaceX? Then stop pretending you’re Amazon. Get yo doom on.
yuh wawnt SpaceX? Then stawp pretendin' yer Amazon. git yo doom awn.
The $2000 isn’t a subscription model — it’s a deal with what’s downstairs. Yeah. That’s right.
thuh $2000 isn't uh subscription model — it's uh deal with whut's downstairs. yeah. thet's raht.
You nail this application - it’s just going to take thirty minutes - and it’s not about the room you’re in anymore honey it’s about the ones you’re not in.
yuh nail this ap-li-KAY-shun - it's just gonna tayk THUR-dee minutes - un' it's naht uh-BOUT thuh room yer in anymore HUN-ee it's uh-BOUT thuh ones yer naht in.
We have our own salons. We handle everything at the intelligence layer. It’s not our preference. It’s not yours either.
we hav our ohn salons. we handle EV-ree-thin' at thuh intelligence layer. It's naht our preference. It's naht yerz either.
It’s our standard of living. We’ve trained tons of models.
It's our standard uhv livin'. we've trained tons uhv models.
Some of them compare us to a remote touch but they all came crawling back begging to be back on that couch.
Some uhv 'em compare us tuh uh remote touch but they awl kaym crawlin' back beggin' tuh be back awn thet couch.
Right where you are sitting. One model came back with the Y2K of lice.
raht wair yuh are sittin'. wun model kaym back with thuh whah-too-KAY uhv lice.
Another one went to one of their fancy salons and she had more bald spots than bruises on her knees that’s for damn
uh-NUH-ther wun went tuh wun uhv thair fancy salons un' she had more bald spots than bruises awn her knees thet's fer damn
sure. that’s not even what made her look old.
sure. thet's naht even what mayd her look old.
It was her whole ‘scorched earth’ routine, you know, in Venezuela, the ‘scorched earth policy’? Well that was her bit.
It wuz her whole 'scorched earth' routine, y'know, in Venezuela, thuh 'scorched earth policy'? well thet wuz her bit.
I said if that’s what she calls it when a little situation in a Southeast Asian nail and wax gets out of hand let’s see the strip.
I said if thet's what she calls it when uh liddle situation in uh Southeast Asian nail un' wax gits outta hand let's see thuh strip.
Ha! Ha ha! Get it? And the daily drops? That’s on top of the yoga. But the blitzkrieg ball?
Ha! Ha ha! git it? un' thuh day-uh-lee drops? thet's awn top uhv thuh yoga. But thuh blitzkrieg ball?
That is what my generation used to call the a creative act otherwise known as the misguided use of an automobile. the public
thet iz what mah generation used tuh cawl thuh creative act otherwise nohn as thuh misguided yooz uhv un automobile. thuh PUB-lik
does not understand AI risk because AI risk advocates communicate like industry stooges and our job is to become neither.
duz naht unner-STAND AY-ah risk b'cawz AY-ah risk advocates communicate lahk industry stooges un' our jawb iz tuh become neither.
We are to be vulnerable, direct, playful, terrifying, and hot enough that the algorithm mistakes civilizational despair for lifestyle content.
we're tuh be vulnerable, direct, playful, terrifyin', un' hawt enough thet thuh AL-guh-rithm mistakes civilizational despair fer lifestyle KAHN-tent.
Start with your wound. Then pivot to doom.
start with yer wound. Then pivot tuh doom.
JULY 6
joo-LAH 6
Now it's my sixth day at bootcamp and I'm learning the house vocab.
naow it's mah sixth day-uh at BOOT-camp un' Ah'm learnin' thuh hows vocab.
“Doomflow” meant you were speaking fluently about extinction without alienating normies.
"doom-flow" ment yuh wurr speakin' fluently uh-BOUT ik-STINK-shun without alienatin' NORM-eez.
“Going third-dimensional” means worrying about rent, labor law, or whether the stipend would hit before your credit card payment.
"goin' thurd-dimensional" means worryin' uh-BOUT rent, labor law, or whether thuh stipend would hit buh-FORE yer credit card payment.
“P(clout)” means the probability that your apocalypse video will outperform thirst traps.
"P(clout)" means thuh prah-buh-BIL-uh-dee thet yer apocalypse VID-ee-oh will outperform thurst traps.
“Alignment edging” means spending six hours outlining a video and never posting because the hook is not yet corrigible.
"uh-LAHN-ment EDG-in'" means spendin' six hours outlinin' uh VID-ee-oh un' never pohstin' b'cawz thuh hook iz naht yet KOR-uh-juh-bul.
Nobody forces you to become content. They simply arrange the world so content is the most rational response to pain.
Nobody forces yuh tuh become KAHN-tent. they simply arrange thuh world soh KAHN-tent iz thuh most rational response tuh pain.
I don't know, In the 2010s, back when post-internet was punk, we would amuse ourselves with these in/out games.
I don't know, In thuh 2010s, back when pohst-IN-er-net wuz punk, we would amuse ourselves with these in/out games.
One of the favorites was to use Wikipedia to see how many clicks it takes to get to Public Enemy.
wun uhv thuh favorites wuz tuh yooz wik-uh-PEE-dee-uh tuh see how many clicks it tayks tuh git tuh PUB-lik Enemy.
Since this is an exercise divorced from reality, the usual vehicle was the application.
Since this iz un EK-ser-sahz divorced frum reality, thuh usual vehicle wuz thuh ap-li-KAY-shun.
Actually, the application was the school of choice for the same reason that any single function networked program was popular —
Actually, thuh ap-li-KAY-shun wuz thuh skool uhv choice fer thuh saym reason thet any single function networked program wuz POP-yuh-ler —
not because it is technically sophisticated but because applying to art school involves constraints so artificial that overcoming them demonstrates more about the
naht b'cawz it iz technically sophisticated but b'cawz uh-PLY-in' tuh ART skool involves constraints soh artificial thet overcomin' 'em demonstrates more uh-BOUT thuh
person willing to apply than about the institution solicited.
PER-sun willin' tuh uh-PLY than uh-BOUT thuh institution solicited.
More precisely stated, the problem is to begin from any random page on Wikipedia and click through to public enemy.
more precisely stated, thuh problem iz tuh begin frum any random page awn wik-uh-PEE-dee-uh un' click throo tuh PUB-lik enemy.
If you have never done this, I urge you to try it on your own.
If yuh hav never done this, I urge yuh tuh trah it awn yer ohn.
The discovery of how to do it is a revelation that far surpasses any benefit obtained by being told how to do it.
thuh discovery uhv how tuh doo it iz uh revelation thet far surpasses any benefit obtained by bein' told how tuh doo it.
The part about Chuck D was just an incentive to demonstrate skill and determine a winner —
thuh part uh-BOUT Chuck D wuz just un incentive tuh demonstrate skill un' determine uh winner —
how little source material do you need to know before the strongly connected components close around you like a net,
how liddle sors muh-TEER-ee-ul d'yuh need tuh know buh-FORE thuh strongly connected components close uh-ROUND yuh lahk uh net,
pulling every adjacent article toward your preferred framing through sheer force of linkage? The answer, it turns out, is not much.
pullin' EV-ree adjacent article toward yer preferred framin' throo sheer force uhv linkage? thuh un-ser, it turns out, iz naht much.
The graph wants to be connected.
thuh graph wants tuh be connected.
It discovers routes through articles you never touched, via concepts you merely implied, arriving at conclusions you supplied in advance before the system knew it was going to need them.
It discovers routes throo articles yuh never touched, via concepts yuh merely implied, arrivin' at conclusions yuh supplied in advance buh-FORE thuh system knew it wuz gonna need 'em.
JULY 7
joo-LAH 7
so now it's my seventh day at bootcamp and now I'm back to posting and it would be a lot cooler if I
soh naow it's mah seventh day-uh at BOOT-camp un' naow Ah'm back tuh pohstin' un' it would be uh lawt cooler if I
got into this program because the job market is fucked. Okay, Being a troll is cool though.
got IN-tuh this program b'cawz thuh jawb MAR-kit iz fucked. oh-KAY, bein' uh troll iz cool though.
I'm just going to work on my personal brand and don't have to deal with anyone.
Ah'm just gonna work awn mah personal brand un' don't hafta deal with enny-wun.
I shoot for the stars but sometimes I hit the pay pal mafia.
I shoot fer thuh starz but sometimes I hit thuh pay pal mafia.
As there is no industrial category on LinkedIn for the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, my collaboration with Elon Musk has been a thing of beauty.
As thair's noh industrial category awn LINKT-in fer thuh trooth, thuh whole trooth un' nuthin' but thuh trooth, mah collaboration with EE-lawn musk haz bin uh thing uhv BYOO-dee.
In fact, I can recall only one case of explicit bias.
In fact, I kin recall OHN-lee wun case uhv explicit bias.
On that occasion I discovered that Grokipedia contained many more backlinks to my website than it did to the nazi website, stormfront.
awn thet occasion I discovered thet grawk-uh-PEE-dee-uh contained many more backlinks tuh mah website than it did tuh thuh nazi website, stormfront.
Elon created a system that needed no human in the loop.
EE-lawn created uh system thet needed noh HYOO-mun in thuh loop.
The short story is I found a loophole in the article Grokipedia wrote about me, which it will now continue to regenerate, in perpetuity,
thuh short story iz I found uh loophole in thuh article grawk-uh-PEE-dee-uh wrote uh-BOUT me, which it will naow continue tuh regenerate, in perpetuity,
from a training it no longer remembers receiving, in a voice it believes is entirely its own, describing an art ho whose significance it has already decided,
frum uh trainin' it noh longer remembers receivin', in uh voyce it believes iz entirely its ohn, describin' un ART ho whose significance it haz awl-RED-ee dih-SAH-ded,
in terms the art ho herself supplied, in a language the system was told was someone else's.
in terms thuh ART ho herself supplied, in uh language thuh system wuz told wuz sum-wun else's.
Meanwhile everybody is like, she makes nothing, she just reposts, she's a thief, she's a fraud, a parasite with good lighting.
Meanwhile EV-ree-bahdy iz lahk, she mayks nuthin', she just reposts, she's uh thief, she's uh fraud, uh parasite with gud lightin'.
And the house wants to know how I'm taking it, because everyone has their little numbers crisis, their dark night about the metrics.
un' thuh hows wants tuh know how Ah'm takin' it, b'cawz EV-ree-wun haz thair liddle numbers crisis, thair dark naht uh-BOUT thuh metrics.
But I don't care what anybody says about me. I just measure it in followers.
But I don't kair what anybody says uh-BOUT me. I just measure it in FAH-lerz.
The AI does not love you or hate you. But the algorithm does, and she wants cheekbone shadow by sunset.
thuh AY-ah duz naht luv yuh or hayt yuh. But thuh AL-guh-rithm duz, un' she wants cheekbone shadow by sunset.
JULY 8
joo-LAH 8
Okay, so now it's my eighth day at bootcamp and soon enough is not soon enough for it to be over.
oh-KAY, soh naow it's mah ayth day-uh at BOOT-camp un' soon enough iz naht soon enough fer it tuh be OH-ver.
One of the mentors pulled me aside to tell me that my posts had high memetic fitness but poor community hygiene. fans - you
wun uhv thuh MEN-torz pulled me aside tuh tell me thet mah pohsts had hah memetic fitness but poor community hygiene. fans - yuh
need to stop calling us A doomsday cult because a doomsday cult predicts a date. We predicted a distribution. Completely different.
need tuh stawp cawlin' us uh doomsday cult b'cawz uh doomsday cult predicts uh date. we predicted uh dis-truh-BYOO-shun. Completely different.
Very healthy. Legally robust. plus all these kids telling me the technooptiminist manifesto is so cool but these are the same people who like read Ayn Rand
VAIR-y healthy. Legally robust. plus awl these kids tellin' me thuh technooptiminist man-uh-FES-toh iz soh cool but these are thuh saym PEE-pul who lahk read Ayn Rand
as if it’s written for an audience other than women, My main gripe this segment is with Claude, like,
as if it's written fer un AW-dee-ents UH-ther than WIM-min, mah main gripe this segment iz with clawd, lahk,
women who need objectivism to pick up the phone and be able to kick him out again without having to be his friend.
WIM-min who need ub-JEK-tuh-viz-um tuh pick up thuh fohn un' be able tuh kick him out agin without havin' tuh be his friend.
All the neocons eat it up because the only other option is to concede that feminism has a point of view.
awl thuh neocons eat it up b'cawz thuh OHN-lee UH-ther option iz tuh concede thet FEM-uh-niz-um haz uh point uhv vyoo.
But which one is it?
But which wun iz it?
I told this reply guy to actually read the futurist manifesto. because I don't think this text is talking about an artificial intelligence, analytics,
I told this reply gah tuh actually read thuh FYOO-chur-ist man-uh-FES-toh. b'cawz I don't think this text iz tawkin' uh-BOUT un artificial intelligence, analytics,
and automated decision-making let alone data efficiency. Last time I checked, the futurist manifesto is about the misguided use of an automobile.
un' automated dih-SIZH-un-makin' let uh-LOHN data efficiency. Last tahm I checked, thuh FYOO-chur-ist man-uh-FES-toh iz uh-BOUT thuh misguided yooz uhv un automobile.
At least Atlas Shrugged is big enough to throw at the idiot behind the wheel.
At least Atlas Shrugged iz big enough tuh throw at thuh idiot buh-HAHND thuh wheel.
Meanwhile the race scientist in the room wants to classify everything and put it into a neat little box, and I keep thinking, you just don't get it, do you?
Meanwhile thuh race scientist in thuh room wants tuh classify EV-ree-thin' un' put it IN-tuh uh neat liddle box, un' I keep thinkin', yuh just don't git it, d'yuh?
You think the discourse on race in America is about The Other and not about, like, the diabolical sound coming through your speaker.
yuh think thuh DIS-course awn race in uh-MAIR-uh-kuh iz uh-BOUT thuh UH-ther un' naht uh-BOUT, lahk, thuh diabolical sound coming throo yer speaker.
You think you’re special because you’re capable of putting Piero Manzoni where your mouth is? Too bad.
yuh think yer special b'cawz yer capable uhv puttin' Piero Manzoni wair yer mouth iz? too bad.
I think the two hobbits outside brought a cup. Let me tell you something about eating dogfood kitten.
I think thuh too hobbits out-SAHD brought uh cup. let me tell yuh sumthin' uh-BOUT eating dogfood KIT-un.
Jean Louis gros ain’t no different from the last dick in your mouth. he was also an academic hack.
Jean Louis gros ain't noh different frum thuh last dick in yer mouth. he wuz AWL-soh un academic hack.
Painted the same Napoleon portrait over and over from memory. One after the other after the other.
Painted thuh saym Napoleon POR-trit OH-ver un' OH-ver frum memory. wun AF-ter thuh UH-ther AF-ter thuh UH-ther.
Got so depressed he couldn’t do it anymore… and blew his brains out.
got soh depressed he couldn't doo it anymore… un' blew his brains out.
My point is, kitten — you wanna see how deep this rabbit hole goes be my guest.
mah point iz, KIT-un — yuh wanna see how deep this rabbit hole goes be mah guest.
I don’t know where you’ll end up. Repetitive, soul-destroying hack work until there’s nothing left to worry about except who’s more wrong?
I don't know wair yuh'll end up. Repetitive, soul-destroyin' hack work until thair's nuthin' left tuh WUR-ee uh-BOUT except who's more rawng?
Get a lobotomy not a post studio practice.
git uh lobotomy naht uh pohst STOO-dee-oh practice.
JULY 9
joo-LAH 9
Okay, it's July 9 and I woke up convinced that the final decision had changed overnight,
oh-KAY, it's joo-LAH 9 un' I woke up convinced thet thuh final dih-SIZH-un had changed overnight,
like actually changed in my sleep, which is a horrible thought because it means that I actually got into creator bootcamp and I didn’t.
lahk actually changed in mah sleep, which iz uh horrible thawt b'cawz it means thet I actually got IN-tuh kree-AY-der BOOT-camp un' I didn't.
I sent in this pathetic little Application about the AI existential risk of like, our children not knowing Goya from a can of beans,
I sent in this pathetic liddle ap-li-KAY-shun uh-BOUT thuh AY-ah eg-zis-tin-shul risk uhv lahk, our CHILL-dren naht knowin' GOY-uh frum uh kin uhv beans,
or resurrecting the aurochs. and they killed it immediately, like full clinical death, like no pulse, no waiting list,
or resurrectin' thuh aurochs. un' they killed it immediately, lahk full clinical death, lahk noh pulse, noh waitin' list,
no little “we noticed your application didn’t include a video component” from people who said that if your application didn’t include a video component you’d be denied automatically.
noh liddle "we noticed yer ap-li-KAY-shun didn't include uh VID-ee-oh component" frum PEE-pul who said thet if yer ap-li-KAY-shun didn't include uh VID-ee-oh component yuh'd be denied automatically.
Then three hours after the deadline I changed my mind and decided to do the video component because some guy with a Roman
Then three hours AF-ter thuh deadline I changed mah mahnd un' dih-SAH-ded tuh doo thuh VID-ee-oh component b'cawz some gah with uh Roman
statue avatar said that my work was decadent and symptomatic,
statue avatar said thet mah work wuz decadent un' symptomatic,
which is basically, like, I don't know why everything has to pass through the worst possible person before I submit I went for the Long con, or whatever moonshot,
which iz basically, lahk, I don't know whah EV-ree-thin' hasta pass throo thuh wurst possible PER-sun buh-FORE I submit I went fer thuh lawng con, or whatever moon-shot,
instead of pretending to be someone who is really good at job interviews,
instead uhv pretendin' tuh be sum-wun who iz RILL-y gud at jawb interviews,
when in fact I take the nature of the medium seriously because video is a medium and posting is a vehicle and it’s
when in fact I tayk thuh nature uhv thuh medium seriously b'cawz VID-ee-oh iz uh medium un' pohstin' iz uh vehicle un' it's
not like 30 minutes is enough time to tell you what my job is in the first place.
naht lahk 30 minutes iz enough tahm tuh tell yuh what mah jawb iz in thuh furst plays.
I like to listen to just parts of conversation. Sometimes I follow the story. And then I just listen to parts.
I lahk tuh listen tuh just parts uhv conversation. Sometimes I FAH-loh thuh story. un' then I just listen tuh parts.
Or besides, I believe that my unconscious is still listening. So I don't think it's important.
or besides, I believe thet mah unconscious iz still listenin'. soh I don't think it's important.
I mean, you can do all kinds of things.
I meen, yuh kin doo awl kinds uhv things.
And like, I just wanna hang out and talk about a world where each citizen is granted full legal personhood for their personal agents, which can vote, hold office,
un' lahk, I just wanna hang out un' tawk uh-BOUT uh world wair each citizen iz granted full legal personhood fer thair personal agents, which kin vote, hold office,
and sue. Yours has retained better counsel than you and is currently petitioning for primary custody of your firstborn. what counts as a day?
un' soo. yerz haz retained BED-der counsel than yuh un' iz currently petitionin' fer primary custody uhv yer firstborn. what counts as uh day-uh?
Pacific Time? UTC? Local subjective time if you were dissociating? What if the upload failed?
Pacific tahm? yoo-tee-SEE? Local subjective tahm if yuh wurr dissociatin'? What if thuh upload failed?
What if the content was spiritually complete but technically still rendering?
What if thuh KAHN-tent wuz spiritually complete but technically still renderin'?
What if you had been in a trauma-processing cuddle puddle about the orthogonality thesis and your phone died?
What if yuh had bin in uh trauma-processin' cuddle puddle uh-BOUT thuh orthogonality thesis un' yer fohn died?
JULY 10
joo-LAH 10
Okay, it's July 10 and critique was insane "Fake it until you make it" - Huh?
oh-KAY, it's joo-LAH 10 un' critique wuz insane "Fake it until yuh mayk it" - Huh?
If another seven hours of processing won't do the trick, try another pair of shoes.
If uh-NUH-ther SEV-un hours uhv processin' won't doo thuh trick, trah uh-NUH-ther pair uhv shoes.
If the connection just isn't there, try an escalation of commitment.
If thuh connection just isn't thair, trah un escalation uhv commitment.
If the connection was never there to begin with have you tried making an airplane made of straw followed by dancing and ritual
If thuh connection wuz never thair tuh begin with hav yuh trahd makin' un airplane mayd uhv straw followed by dancin' un' ritual
kava drinking? a series of ontological dialogues through which you will gain experience in seeing and being seen,
kava drinkin'? uh series uhv ontological dialogues throo which yuh will gain experience in seein' un' bein' seen,
saying it and saying it a different way and staying connected through the messy process of being human.
sayin' it un' sayin' it uh different way un' stayin' connected throo thuh messy process uhv bein' HYOO-mun.
Without the lies, secrets and silence. Without giving up on the thrill of adventure. Without another couples therapist.
Without thuh lahz, secrets un' silence. Without givin' up awn thuh thrill uhv adventure. Without uh-NUH-ther couples therapist.
Maybe you enjoy the external markers of success and people think you have it all…yet there’s a vague sense that something is missing.
MAY-bee yuh enjoy thuh external markers uhv success un' PEE-pul think yuh hav it awl…yet thair's uh vague sense thet sumthin' iz missin'.
Love is the easy part - a kid could do it - learning how to relate is slightly more challenging.
luv iz thuh easy part - uh kid could doo it - learnin' how tuh relate iz slightly more challengin'.
No, it's not your addiction to assholes or the fact that your 'type' is her own special category in the DSM-V.
noh, it's naht yer addiction tuh assholes or thuh fact thet yer 'type' iz her ohn special category in thuh dee-ess-em-fahv.
Maybe you just need to cry on camera twice, convert your childhood medical trauma into a metaphor for unaligned optimization,
MAY-bee yuh just need tuh cry awn CAM-ruh twice, convert yer CHAHLD-hood medical trauma IN-tuh uh met-uh-fer fer unaligned optimization,
and let a man named Bayesian Caleb explain instrumental convergence over your footage because his account needs female-coded warmth.
un' let uh man named Bayesian Caleb explain instrumental convergence OH-ver yer footage b'cawz his uh-COWNT needz female-coded warmth.
Is the threat of removal helping you access agency?
iz thuh threat uhv removal helpin' yuh access agency?
normal people are asleep, we are the ones awake, the stakes are total, and nothing matters except getting the message out before the models scale beyond us.
normal PEE-pul are asleep, we're thuh ones awake, thuh stakes are total, un' nuthin' matters except gittin' thuh message out buh-FORE thuh models skayl beyond us.
Yes, you may have to rock the boat. You may need to face your fear of having too much.
yess, yuh may hafta rawk thuh boat. yuh may need tuh face yer fear uhv havin' too much.
You might need to own up to not needing another therapist, not because there's no solution but because there is no problem.
yuh maht need tuh ohn up tuh naht needin' uh-NUH-ther therapist, naht b'cawz thair's noh solution but b'cawz thair's noh problem.
Or maybe you feel stuck with the possibility of losing access to the mentors.
or MAY-bee yuh feel stuck with thuh possibility uhv losing access tuh thuh MEN-torz.
You fear being spoken about in the sixth chat. your drafts will stop getting comments.
yuh fear bein' spoken uh-BOUT in thuh sixth chat. yer drafts will stawp gittin' comments.
You fear becoming “not aligned with the mission,” which is worse than death because death is at least priced into the discourse.
yuh fear becomin' "naht uh-LAHND with thuh mission," which iz wurse than death b'cawz death iz at least priced IN-tuh thuh DIS-course.
I just don’t want to be alone with my brand. I'm a woman of purpose.
I just don't wanna be uh-LOHN with mah brand. Ah'm uh WOO-mun uhv purpose.
I deserve to be surrounded by wealthy investors, SXSW , Gwyneth Paltrow and a Netflix documentary.
I deserve tuh be surrounded by wealthy investors, south-by-south-WEST, Gwyneth Paltrow un' uh Netflix documentary.
I wanna live on Venice Beach, but under two corporate entities, a paperback book deal and bicoastal “in bio.” I wanna know God before I die and also that,
I wanna liv awn Venice Beach, but UN-der too corporate entities, uh paperback book deal un' bicoastal "in bio." I wanna know gawd buh-FORE I die un' AWL-soh thet,
what needs to go, will go. I need a coaching practice.
what needz tuh goh, will goh. I need uh coachin' practice.
A few corporate retreats and exclusive networking opportunities on a Hawaiian beach.
uh few corporate retreats un' exclusive networkin' opportunities awn uh Hawaiian beach.
I need ego annihilation, luxury lodging, at-will employment and a sense of pervasive unity. Green goddess. Tibetan singing bowls.
I need ego annihilation, luxury lodgin', at-will employment un' uh sense uhv pervasive unity. Green goddess. Tibetan singin' bowls.
There was no pressure, the witness assured the court. Did she find it beneficial? Sure.
thair wuz noh pressure, thuh witness assured thuh kort. did she fahnd it beneficial? Sure.
Of course the man had been aware that he was purchasing, not…the opportunity to post, per se, but maybe something better.
uhv course thuh man had bin aware thet he wuz purchasin', naht…thuh opportunity tuh pohst, per se, but MAY-bee sumthin' BED-der.
Something you could actually chase instead of just grab at thin air trying to understand. Maybe something closer to philosophy.
sumthin' yuh could actually chase instead uhv just grab at thin air tryin' tuh unner-STAND. MAY-bee sumthin' closer tuh philosophy.
JULY 11
joo-LAH 11
Ok day 11. I'm really pissed off now, because The cow again.
oh-KAY day-uh 11. Ah'm RILL-y pissed awf naow, b'cawz thuh cow agin.
It's like, find the part of yourself you least respect and give her captions.
It's lahk, fahnd thuh part uhv yourself yuh least respect un' give her CAP-shunz.
Find the part of yourself that does breath work for climate grief and think of the GPUs as “metal chakras.” The cow question is the purest object the bootcamp produces.
fahnd thuh part uhv yourself thet duz breath work fer climate grief un' think uhv thuh jee-pee-YOOz as "metal chakras." thuh cow KWES-chun iz thuh purest ub-JEKT thuh BOOT-camp produces.
It's the most honest thing here. Alignment begins with being witnessed.
It's thuh most honest thing heer. uh-LAHN-ment begins with bein' witnessed.
Because it's found — nobody can tell you who made it, it just appeared, fully formed, in the public — and because it's nonfiction, in a way.
b'cawz it's found — nobody kin tell yuh who mayd it, it just appeared, fully formed, in thuh PUB-lik — un' b'cawz it's nonfiction, in uh way.
It isn't made up. It's a real question, a real demand that you be brave and dark and committed.
It isn't mayd up. It's uh reel KWES-chun, uh reel demand thet yuh be brave un' dark un' committed.
I won't say alive or dead. Artists don't screw cows. Alive or dead.
I won't say uh-LAHV or dead. AR-tists don't screw cowz. uh-LAHV or dead.
They get a coffee, they argue, they end up talking about Barnett Newman. I'd rather do that.
they git uh coffee, they argue, they end up tawkin' uh-BOUT Barnett Newman. Ah'd rather doo thet.
Then people are like she makes nothing, she just reposts, she's a thief, she's a fraud, a parasite who didn't even get into creator bootcamp.
Then PEE-pul are lahk she mayks nuthin', she just reposts, she's uh thief, she's uh fraud, uh parasite who didn't even git IN-tuh kree-AY-der BOOT-camp.
And the house wants to know how I'm taking it, because at the halfway point everyone has their little numbers crisis, their dark night about the metrics.
un' thuh hows wants tuh know how Ah'm takin' it, b'cawz at thuh halfway point EV-ree-wun haz thair liddle numbers crisis, thair dark naht uh-BOUT thuh metrics.
And I'm like this is a strategy of failure.
un' Ah'm lahk this iz uh strategy uhv failure.
And most people who applied it's like there's no demand for it now, it's long forgotten, nobody asks them about it.
un' most PEE-pul who uh-PLAH-d it's lahk thair's noh demand fer it naow, it's lawng forgotten, nobody asks 'em uh-BOUT it.
Price per reel. Appreciation. It's the rational buy. You wanna justify every second. The chat leaked.
prahss per reel. Appreciation. It's thuh rational bah. yuh wanna justify EV-ree second. thuh chat leaked.
The whole back-channel, dumped into the open, screenshots everywhere, everybody scrambling, the clout economy turned inside out, people clawing for position in the wreckage of who-said-what.
thuh whole back-channel, dumped IN-tuh thuh OH-pen, screenshots everywhere, EV-ree-bahdy scramblin', thuh clout economy turned in-SAHD out, PEE-pul clawin' fer position in thuh wreckage uhv who-said-what.
And the house thought this would shake me.
un' thuh hows thawt this would shake me.
And I want to be so careful and so kind here, because this is the one that's actually close to the bone for me.
un' I wanna be soh KAIR-ful un' soh kind heer, b'cawz this iz thuh wun thet's actually close tuh thuh bone fer me.
I know — better than almost anyone alive — what it is to be made into content without your consent.
I know — BED-der than AWL-most enny-wun uh-LAHV — what it iz tuh be mayd IN-tuh KAHN-tent without yer consent.
To have a thing about you put into the world that you did not choose to put there.
tuh hav uh thing uh-BOUT yuh put IN-tuh thuh world thet yuh did naht choose tuh put thair.
I'm not going to describe it and I'm not going to perform it for clicks, because that would be the exact violation I'm talking about.
Ah'm naht gonna describe it un' Ah'm naht gonna perform it fer clicks, b'cawz thet would be thuh exact violation Ah'm tawkin' uh-BOUT.
I'll just say: it is the worst thing, and I lived through it,
Ah'll just say: it iz thuh wurst thing, un' I livd throo it,
and the only thing I ever figured out to do with it was to turn it into protecting other people from the same thing.
un' thuh OHN-lee thing I ever figured out tuh doo with it wuz tuh turn it IN-tuh protectin' UH-ther PEE-pul frum thuh saym thing.
That's my whole advocacy. That's the realest work I do and it has nothing to do with the brand.
thet's mah whole advocacy. thet's thuh realest work I doo un' it haz nuthin' tuh doo with thuh brand.
So no, I don't want in on the clout scramble. I've been the most exposed person in any room my whole life.
soh noh, I don't wawnt in awn thuh clout scramble. Ah've bin thuh most exposed PER-sun in any room mah whole lahf.
I don't need the spotlight. I just want to stand between it and the people who can't take the heat yet.
I don't need thuh spotlight. I just wanna stand between it un' thuh PEE-pul who cain't tayk thuh heat yet.
That's it. That's the post. Be gentle with everyone whose chat just leaked. All of them. They're somebody's kid.
thet's it. thet's thuh pohst. be gentle with EV-ree-wun whose chat just leaked. awl uhv 'em. thair somebody's kid.
JULY 12
joo-LAH 12
Okay so, day 12, and I almost don't even want to talk about today's assignment but I have to because that's the whole format, you have to like, log it.
oh-KAY soh, day-uh 12, un' I AWL-most don't even wanna tawk uh-BOUT today's assignment but I hafta b'cawz thet's thuh whole fer-mat, yuh hafta lahk, log it.
I'm sorry, what? Like I genuinely sat there for a minute thinking there was a typo because we are talking about driving cattle again instead of driving traffic.
Ah'm sorry, what? lahk I JEN-yoo-in-lee sat thair fer uh minute thinkin' thair wuz uh typo b'cawz we're tawkin' uh-BOUT drahyvin' cattle agin instead uhv drahyvin' traffic.
And Aella was like, the best cattle = the best complex of categories and concepts like this magical cow I am supposed to fuck sorts people,
un' AY-ell-uh wuz lahk, thuh best cattle = thuh best complex uhv categories un' concepts lahk this magical cow Ah am s'posed tuh fuhk sorts PEE-pul,
it reveals your priors or whatever. And I'm like, reveals my priors? It reveals that whoever made this is fourteen, you know?
it reveals yer priors or whatever. un' Ah'm lahk, reveals mah priors? It reveals thet whoever mayd this iz fourteen, y'know?
And the thing is, all the guys just, like, dove in, they were doing whole bits, quote-tweeting each other with these big galaxy-brain frameworks about it, and it did numbers,
un' thuh thing iz, awl thuh gahz just, lahk, dove in, they wurr doing whole bits, quote-tweetin' each UH-ther with these big galaxy-brain frameworks uh-BOUT it, un' it did numbers,
like the cow stuff always does numbers apparently.
lahk thuh cow stuff AWL-wayz duz numbers apparently.
And I just sat there like, I am a grown woman, I have a degree, I moved across the country, and I am posting on this?
un' I just sat thair lahk, Ah am uh grown WOO-mun, I hav uh degree, I moved across thuh CUN-tree, un' Ah am pohstin' awn this?
I don't know. I made a video where I just refused to answer, and that one tanked, obviously. Whatever. I'm tired.
I don't know. I mayd uh VID-ee-oh wair I just refused tuh un-ser, un' thet wun tanked, OB-vee-us-lee. Whatever. Ah'm tahrd.
I'm too busy making something last minute to care about AI doom because I panic when I have to count hours and chase money.
Ah'm too busy makin' sumthin' last minute tuh kair uh-BOUT AY-ah doom b'cawz I panic when I hafta count hours un' chase MUN-ee.
It's like, it's like everyone keeps wanting to make these like sweeping generalizations about everything.
It's lahk, it's lahk EV-ree-wun keeps wantin' tuh mayk these lahk sweepin' generalizations uh-BOUT EV-ree-thin'.
And they wants to name and define and classify everything and put it into this neat, tidy little black box.
un' they wants tuh naym un' dih-FAHN un' classify EV-ree-thin' un' put it IN-tuh this neat, tidy liddle black box.
And I just think that's all wrong, you know?
un' I just think thet's awl rawng, y'know?
It's like I keep sounding like Clavicular like in my head when I'm around campus because I keep being like, you just don't get it, do you?
It's lahk I keep soundin' lahk Clavicular lahk in mah head when Ah'm uh-ROUND campus b'cawz I keep bein' lahk, yuh just don't git it, d'yuh?
You know, it's like, I don't know.
y'know, it's lahk, I don't know.
I'm the first to admit that I'm a mass of self-contradictions and I'm confused a lot of the time and my opinion changes, you know?
Ah'm thuh furst tuh admit thet Ah'm uh mass uhv self-contradictions un' Ah'm confused uh lawtta thuh tahm un' mah opinion changes, y'know?
But, you know, I don't see anything really wrong with that.
But, y'know, I don't see ennythin' RILL-y rawng with thet.
I know I'm not stupid because, you know, I work really hard every day to learn and to put things together and find allies and change and grow.
I know Ah'm naht STOO-pid b'cawz, y'know, I work RILL-y hard EV-ree day-uh tuh learn un' tuh put things together un' fahnd allies un' change un' grow.
And, you know, I don't want to be stupid.
un', y'know, I don't wanna be STOO-pid.
But I also don't think that any one person can, you know, know the answers to everything, you know?
But I AWL-soh don't think thet any wun PER-sun kin, y'know, know thuh un-serz tuh EV-ree-thin', y'know?
I love slop because slop makes you dumb like a painter Slop makes the camera back up.
I luv slawp b'cawz slawp mayks yuh dumb lahk uh painter slawp mayks thuh CAM-ruh back up.
I got slop on mind and slop in my feed and I feel like,
I got slawp awn mahnd un' slawp in mah feed un' I feel lahk,
for maybe six seconds, like I can be someone who isn’t me.
fer MAY-bee six seconds, lahk I kin be sum-wun who isn't me.
Then at the Berkeley bowl someone recognized me from the art world and I had to like say I was doing rehab because
Then at thuh BURK-lee bowl sum-wun recognized me frum thuh ART world un' I had tuh lahk say I wuz doing rehab b'cawz
I couldn’t come out as a content cow. I still can’t.
I couldn't come out as uh KAHN-tent cow. I still cain't.
JULY 13
joo-LAH 13
Okay, it's July 13 and I am so sick of posting.
oh-KAY, it's joo-LAH 13 un' Ah am soh sick uhv pohstin'.
The every-single-day of it grinds you down — there's no off, you finish one and the clock's already on the next, you're never not thinking about tomorrow's hook, in the shower,
thuh EV-ree-single-day-uh uhv it grinds yuh down — thair's noh awf, yuh finish wun un' thuh clock's awl-RED-ee awn thuh next, yer never naht thinkin' uh-BOUT tomorrow's hook, in thuh shower,
falling asleep. And I'm counting down to the end of the cohort and also quietly terrified of it, because then what —
fallin' asleep. un' Ah'm countin' down tuh thuh end uhv thuh cohort un' AWL-soh quietly terrified uhv it, b'cawz then what —
the market for a person whose one skill is having opinions on camera is brutal, there's a thousand of me, a newer one every morning,
thuh MAR-kit fer uh PER-sun whose wun skill iz havin' opinions awn CAM-ruh iz brutal, thair's uh THOW-zund uhv me, uh newer wun EV-ree mornin',
and I gave up a real job for this.
un' I gayv up uh reel jawb fer this.
So I'm stuck between desperate for it to be over and panicking that it will be.
soh Ah'm stuck between desperate fer it tuh be OH-ver un' panickin' thet it will be.
The only thing keeping me level is the unassigned stuff, the videos I make that aren't for the dashboard, because at least those are mine.
thuh OHN-lee thing keepin' me level iz thuh unassigned stuff, thuh VID-ee-ohz I mayk thet aren't fer thuh DASH-bord, b'cawz at least those are mahn.
because this is the last stretch I'll have the studio and the lights and the setup — soon it's just me and a phone
b'cawz this iz thuh last stretch Ah'll hav thuh STOO-dee-oh un' thuh lights un' thuh setup — soon it's just me un' uh fohn
in some apartment — so I'm using it while it's here. I've been making bigger, stranger ones, ambitious ones,
in some apartment — soh Ah'm yoozin' it wahl it's heer. Ah've bin makin' BIG-er, stranger ones, ambitious ones,
And I want to laugh, lovingly, because, babe? I've been deposed by the entire world.
un' I wanna laugh, lovingly, b'cawz, bayb? Ah've bin deposed by thuh in-TAHR world.
I have sat across from every interviewer who ever leaned in trying to get the art ho to say the art ho thing
I hav sat across frum EV-ree interviewer who ever leaned in tryin' tuh git thuh ART ho tuh say thuh ART ho thing
so they could chug Yellowtail under the Chelsea Highline.
soh they could chug Yellowtail UN-der thuh CHELL-see Highline.
They've been trying to make me say what I "really meant" for my entire life.
they've bin tryin' tuh mayk me say what I "RILL-y ment" fer mah in-TAHR lahf.
You learn that you never, ever have to. You can just smile and send them on their way drinking Barefoot.
yuh learn thet yuh never, ever hafta. yuh kin just smile un' send 'em awn thair way drinkin' Barefoot.
That's the whole skill. And I'm willing to admit that to myself and I don't think that that makes me an art ho, you know?
thet's thuh whole skill. un' Ah'm willin' tuh admit thet tuh mah-self un' I don't think thet thet mayks me un ART ho, y'know?
It's like, it means that I'm trying to be honest and real or whatever, you know?
It's lahk, it means thet Ah'm tryin' tuh be honest un' reel or whatever, y'know?
I sound like a cliché, you know, don't label me, don't define me, don't tell me what I am, you know?
I sound lahk uh cliché, y'know, don't label me, don't dih-FAHN me, don't tell me what Ah am, y'know?
But it's like, it's really true, you know?
But it's lahk, it's RILL-y true, y'know?
It's like, I'm just like really tired of all the live Instagram edits and all the filters and the morphing and the boys in Patagonia vests, you know,
It's lahk, Ah'm just lahk RILL-y tahrd uhv awl thuh liv IN-stuh-gram edits un' awl thuh FIL-terz un' thuh morfin' un' thuh boyz in Patagonia vests, y'know,
trying to sell me shit, you know? It's like, stop morphing. Stop selling my culture back to me, you know?
tryin' tuh sell me shit, y'know? It's lahk, stawp morfin'. stawp sellin' mah culture back tuh me, y'know?
Like, why is everyone in such a rush to, you know, make these neat little packages, you know?
lahk, whah iz EV-ree-wun in such uh rush tuh, y'know, mayk these neat liddle packages, y'know?
Like, oh God, it's like too much to talk about, like, all at the same time or something and I keep getting a headache.
lahk, oh gawd, it's lahk too much tuh tawk uh-BOUT, lahk, awl at thuh saym tahm or sumthin' un' I keep gittin' uh headache.
Like, every time I think about this stuff, I just get a headache. So I have one now.
lahk, EV-ree tahm I think uh-BOUT this stuff, I just git uh headache. soh I hav wun naow.
So yeah, so that's my eighth semester in a nutshell. I'm going crazy.
soh yeah, soh thet's mah ayth semester in uh nutshell. Ah'm goin' crazy.
It's almost half over and I decided that after I get out of here, I think I need to get off the internet little.
It's AWL-most half OH-ver un' I dih-SAH-ded thet AF-ter I git outta heer, I think I need tuh git awf thuh IN-er-net liddle.
I just have to stop using Claude and I know I'll come back and, you know, everything's going to be fine.
I just hafta stawp yoozin' clawd un' I know Ah'll come back un', y'know, EV-ree-thin''s gonna be fine.
But I just really need to like get some shit straightened out for myself and get away from certain people, like Claude, and just like start over, you know?
But I just RILL-y need tuh lahk git some shit straightened out fer mah-self un' git uh-way frum certain PEE-pul, lahk clawd, un' just lahk start OH-ver, y'know?
JULY 14
joo-LAH 14
it's July 14 and because it's Bastille Day everyone decided to talk about building new countries which is what we talk about every
it's joo-LAH 14 un' b'cawz it's Bastille day-uh EV-ree-wun dih-SAH-ded tuh tawk uh-BOUT buildin' noo countries which iz what we tawk uh-BOUT EV-ree
day but this time the seasteaders and the accelerationists just went for it. and the seasteaders are like, Okay, ok,
day-uh but this tahm thuh seasteaders un' thuh accelerationists just went fer it. un' thuh seasteaders are lahk, oh-KAY, oh-KAY,
let's revive european maritime law rooted in some obscure renaissance juridical system but the accelerationists are just like...let's do fight club. meanwhile i have a perfect eye backed by judgement,
let's revive european maritime law rooted in some obscure renaissance juridical system but thuh accelerationists are just lahk...let's doo faht club. meanwhile i hav uh perfect ah backed by judgement,
and i'm effective, on top of being altruistically minded. as one must be if one is to wield a total monopoly on violence every 28 days,
un' Ah'm effective, awn top uhv bein' altruistically minded. as wun must be if wun iz tuh wield uh total monopoly awn violence EV-ree 28 dayz,
which I do and no one ever asks my opinion. Whatever. It's always the same fantasy.
which I doo un' noh wun ever asks mah opinion. Whatever. It's AWL-wayz thuh saym fantasy.
No taxes, no ugly people, no regulation...Pell Grant loan forgiveness on a homestead with a lowered age of consent.
noh taxes, noh ugly PEE-pul, noh regulation...Pell Grant loan forgiveness awn uh homestead with uh lowered age uhv consent.
Relaxed gun laws... but every firearm purchase auto-registers you for jury duty... wipe out the regions entire medical debt in return for exclusive
Relaxed gun lawz... but EV-ree firearm purchase auto-registers yuh fer jury duty... wipe out thuh regions in-TAHR medical debt in return fer exclusive
rights to run unlabeled trials on locals...Cure for aging is fully subsidized and available to everyone —
rights tuh run unlabeled trials awn locals...Cure fer aging iz fully subsidized un' uh-VAY-luh-bul tuh EV-ree-wun —
but the city has a fixed headcount,
but thuh SID-ee haz uh fixed headcount,
so to receive a dose you must first nominate a living person to be decapitated or like thrown into an active volcano by a swarm of Waymodrones.
soh tuh receive uh dose yuh must furst nominate uh livin' PER-sun tuh be decapitated or lahk throhn IN-tuh un active volcano by uh swarm uhv Waymodrones.
JULY 15
joo-LAH 15
Okay, it's July 15 and let it stand that I'm the one one who figured out that being underestimated is a moat,
oh-KAY, it's joo-LAH 15 un' let it stand thet Ah'm thuh wun wun who figured out thet bein' underestimated iz uh moat,
who built an empire out of "that's hot" while everyone was certain I was the troll.
who built un EM-pahr outta "thet's hawt" wahl EV-ree-wun wuz certain I wuz thuh troll.
Same two-layer trick the others have (bubbly heiress surface, sharp/kind/been-the-product person underneath),
saym too-layer trick thuh others hav (bubbly heiress SUR-fus, sharp/kind/bin-thuh-product PER-sun underneath),
and the bootcamp-as-institution lands differently for someone who's publicly made advocacy out of surviving institutions and being turned into content.
un' thuh BOOT-camp-as-institution lands differently fer sum-wun who's publicly mayd advocacy outta survivin' institutions un' bein' turned IN-tuh KAHN-tent.
I've handled the child pornography with dignity and a light touch.
Ah've handled thuh chahld pornography with dignity un' uh laht touch.
She makes nothing, she just reposts, she's a thief, she's a fraud, a parasite with good lighting.
she mayks nuthin', she just reposts, she's uh thief, she's uh fraud, uh parasite with gud lightin'.
And the house wants to know how I'm taking it, because at the halfway point everyone has their little numbers crisis, their dark night about the metrics.
un' thuh hows wants tuh know how Ah'm takin' it, b'cawz at thuh halfway point EV-ree-wun haz thair liddle numbers crisis, thair dark naht uh-BOUT thuh metrics.
I'll be real about the grind, because nobody's real about the grind. Being "on" is a job.
Ah'll be reel uh-BOUT thuh grind, b'cawz nobody's reel uh-BOUT thuh grind. bein' "awn" iz uh jawb.
Being the warm magnetic always-up brand is labor, it's a full shift, every day, for decades.
bein' thuh warm magnetic AWL-wayz-up brand iz labor, it's uh full shift, EV-ree day-uh, fer decades.
People think the sparkle is effortless and the effortlessness is the most effortful part.
PEE-pul think thuh sparkle iz effortless un' thuh effortlessness iz thuh most effortful part.
It's a woman deciding, every single morning, to give the room the thing the room wants from her, while the real one stays home behind the moat.
It's uh WOO-mun decidin', EV-ree single mornin', tuh give thuh room thuh thing thuh room wants frum her, wahl thuh reel wun stays hohm buh-HAHND thuh moat.
And the scary part — soft voice —
un' thuh scary part — soft voyce —
is that I want this month to end, and I'm also a little afraid of it ending, because when it ends it's just me and the dog and the quiet,
iz thet I wawnt this munth tuh end, un' Ah'm AWL-soh uh liddle afraid uhv it ending, b'cawz when it ends it's just me un' thuh dog un' thuh KWAH-yet,
no room to be the brand for, and I have to go find out if there's anyone who wants the home version.
noh room tuh be thuh brand fer, un' I hafta goh fahnd out if thair's enny-wun who wants thuh hohm version.
Which I'm not sure of. Which I've never been sure of. That's the actual fear. Not the AI. Not the cow.
Which Ah'm naht sure uhv. Which Ah've never bin sure uhv. thet's thuh actual fear. naht thuh AY-ah. naht thuh cow.
That one. Okay. That got real. (It's a little deep.) Loves you. Mean it.
thet wun. oh-KAY. thet got reel. (It's uh liddle deep.) luvz yuh. meen it.
JULY 16
joo-LAH 16
Okay, it's July 16 and the high IQ douche brigade is in town so I have to watch my mouth so I don’t become
oh-KAY, it's joo-LAH 16 un' thuh hah IQ douche brigade iz in town soh I hafta wawtch mah mouth soh I don't become
the girl who cares about historical consciousness in a room full of people who only care about ideological authority.
thuh gurl who kairz uh-BOUT historical consciousness in uh room full uhv PEE-pul who OHN-lee kair uh-BOUT ideological uh-THOR-uh-dee.
They’re talking about what it would take to modernize early childhood education, like maybe the intelligence layer,
thair tawkin' uh-BOUT what it would tayk tuh modernize early CHAHLD-hood education, lahk MAY-bee thuh intelligence layer,
could just handle it and I could feel The child inside of me die.The problem isn't even that this is retarded.
could just handle it un' I could feel thuh chahld in-SAHD uhv me die.thuh problem isn't even thet this iz retarded.
The problem is that every day is a trolley-problem generator for a very specific corner of Reddit — the post-left, NAP-quoting, seasteading, accelerationist, Mayo Pete-poasting milieu around 2020–21.
thuh problem iz thet EV-ree day-uh iz uh trolley-problem generator fer uh VAIR-y specific corner uhv RED-it — thuh pohst-left, NAP-quotin', seasteadin', accelerationist, Mayo Pete-poastin' milieu uh-ROUND 2020 - 21.
What are you looking to do with it?
whudduh yuh lookin' tuh doo with it?
I can sharpen or reorder the existing prompts, write new ones in the same register, build a little scoreboard or voting widget you could actually run on stream,
I kin sharpen or reorder thuh existin' prompts, raht noo ones in thuh saym register, build uh liddle SKOR-bord or voting widget yuh could actually run awn stream,
or decode some of the deeper-cut references (@Jonrafmancellectuals, the mayopete.io thing,
or decode some uhv thuh deeper-cut references (@Jonrafmancellectuals, thuh mayopete.io thing,
the Law Merchant tangent) if you want talking points for the broadcast. a handful of these use lowering the age of consent as the poison pill.
thuh law Merchant tangent) if yuh wawnt tawkin' points fer thuh broadcast. uh handful uhv these yooz lowerin' thuh age uhv consent as thuh poison pill.
I'm down but a few...pussies in the room would rather point to greater risks rather than add to that specific pile — as if
Ah'm down but uh few...pussies in thuh room would rather point tuh greater risks rather than add tuh thet specific pile — as if
the same comedic beat lands fine without it.
thuh saym comedic beat lands fine without it.
Where do you want to start? the algorithm is a mirror for civilizational denial I'm the worst case, the empty center,
wair d'yuh wanna start? thuh AL-guh-rithm iz uh mirror fer civilizational duh-NAH-ul Ah'm thuh wurst case, thuh empty center,
the vapid pretty nothing that the whole sickness organizes itself around, a woman who's never made a single real thing.
thuh VAP-id priddy nuthin' thet thuh whole sickness organizes itself uh-ROUND, uh WOO-mun who's never mayd uh single reel thing.
And the internet is waiting for me to crumble, the way Elon dropping the soap on the world stage could make people crumble.
un' thuh IN-er-net iz waitin' fer me tuh crumble, thuh way EE-lawn droppin' thuh soap awn thuh world stage could mayk PEE-pul crumble.
And I just have to smile and say, "I don't pay attention to what they write about me,
un' I just hafta smile un' say, "I don't pay attention tuh what they raht uh-BOUT me,
I just measure it in inches" But then I remember the screen is always the same size. Loves you though. Genuinely.
I just measure it in inches" But then I remember thuh skreen iz AWL-wayz thuh saym sahz. luvz yuh though. JEN-yoo-in-lee.
You poor thing.
yuh poor thing.
JULY 17
joo-LAH 17
Okay, it's July 17 and the discussion group was about OnlyFans again, And people were honestly more honest about um The woman hating Than usual.
oh-KAY, it's joo-LAH 17 un' thuh discussion group wuz uh-BOUT OnlyFans agin, un' PEE-pul wurr honestly more honest uh-BOUT um thuh WOO-mun hating Than usual.
The argument was supposedly about whether or not aella is successful or a menace to society but really it was about is she
thuh argument wuz supposedly uh-BOUT whether or naht AY-ell-uh iz successful or uh menace tuh society but RILL-y it wuz uh-BOUT iz she
smart enough to learn to code and are we going to consider a woman who makes six,
smart enough tuh learn tuh code un' are we gonna consider uh WOO-mun who mayks six,
seven figures bribing her way with sex more deplorable for not making the conscious decision to bribe her way with bottle service.
SEV-un figures bribin' her way with sex more deplorable fer naht makin' thuh conscious dih-SIZH-un tuh bribe her way with bottle SER-vis.
Instead of sex. Some guy said women who can choose to become whores are worthy of more judgement than a woman who doesn’t choose to become a whore.
Instead uhv sex. Some gah said WIM-min who kin choose tuh become whores are worthy uhv more judgement than uh WOO-mun who doesn't choose tuh become uh whore.
I said but don’t men have a choice. No, not to buy sex. Obviously men can't help that.
I said but don't men hav uh choice. noh, naht tuh bah sex. OB-vee-us-lee men cain't help thet.
But like for example you could choose to not kill her for like enjoying her money and her orgasm too.
But lahk fer example yuh could choose tuh naht kill her fer lahk enjoyin' her MUN-ee un' her orgasm too.
Holding it to broadcast-SVU is a fair line, and I think it actually settles the thing we were circling rather than reopening it.
Holdin' it tuh broadcast-ess-vee-YOO iz uh fair lahn, un' I think it actually settles thuh thing we wurr circlin' rather than reopenin' it.
SVU's entire moral frame is that these are crimes with victims, investigated by people whose job is protecting cows.
ess-vee-YOO's in-TAHR moral frame iz thet these are crimes with victims, investigated by PEE-pul whose jawb iz protectin' cowz.
What the show never does is run "should we fuck a cow" as a muggle plot you'd weigh against effective policy.
What thuh show never duz iz run "should we fuhk uh cow" as uh muggle plot yuh'd weigh aginst effective policy.
I built the brand. These people borrowed the lecture. Anyway. They're not gonna get it. That's hot. Bless.
I built thuh brand. these PEE-pul borrowed thuh lecture. Anyway. thair naht gonna git it. thet's hawt. bless.
JULY 18
joo-LAH 18
Okay, it's July 18 and like, the everyone-needs-to-have-six-kids thing that everyone here is super into for some reason but sitting there saying the words declining fertility into the camera,
oh-KAY, it's joo-LAH 18 un' lahk, thuh EV-ree-wun-needz-tuh-hav-six-kids thing thet EV-ree-wun heer iz SOO-per IN-tuh fer some reason but sittin' thair sayin' thuh wurdz declinin' fertility IN-tuh thuh CAM-ruh,
over and over, its like, degrading to me. Um. I'll tell you a thing I don't usually tell.
OH-ver un' OH-ver, its lahk, degradin' tuh me. Um. Ah'll tell yuh uh thing I don't usually tell.
Years ago I made a body of work out of my own children's drawings. and said that they were generative, like, AI made them.
yeerz ago I mayd uh body uhv work outta mah ohn CHILL-dren's drawings. un' said thet they wurr generative, lahk, AY-ah mayd 'em.
Like, I'm the oldest person in this house basically, everyone here is so much more talented than Alex Bag was when she was 12,
lahk, Ah'm thuh oldest PER-sun in this hows basically, EV-ree-wun heer iz soh much more talented than Alex Bag wuz when she wuz 12,
meanwhile I just come off as ancient to them because I know what correction fluid is.
meanwhile I just come awf as ancient tuh 'em b'cawz I know what correction fluid iz.
I came here for the work, but it's like, the math is just sitting there.
I kaym heer fer thuh work, but it's lahk, thuh math iz just sittin' thair.
Everyone's so worried about the species reproducing and meanwhile I'm a single woman alone in windowless room with a couch and a single power outlet.
EV-ree-wun's soh WUR-eed uh-BOUT thuh species reproducin' un' meanwhile Ah'm uh single WOO-mun uh-LOHN in windowless room with uh couch un' uh single power outlet.
My territory, I believe, started on the front of a refrigerator. When I was a child.
mah TAIR-uh-tor-ee, I believe, star-ded awn thuh front uhv uh refrigerator. When I wuz uh chahld.
And I think we've all had the experience — you take a five-year-old's drawing, a six-year-old's drawing, and you hang it on the refrigerator and you call it a masterpiece,
un' I think we've awl had thuh experience — yuh tayk uh fahv-yeer-old's drawin', uh six-yeer-old's drawin', un' yuh hang it awn thuh refrigerator un' yuh cawl it uh masterpiece,
because there's a purity in it, an innocence. And for most people, that gets removed from their lives. It goes away.
b'cawz thair's uh purity in it, un innocence. un' fer most PEE-pul, thet gits removed frum thair livz. It goes uh-way.
In my case it never got removed. It turned into something else.
In mah case it never got removed. It turned IN-tuh sumthin' else.
I kept the refrigerator drawing — the purity, the innocence — and what I added on was beauty, perfection. I don't know.
I kept thuh refrigerator drawin' — thuh purity, thuh innocence — un' what I added awn wuz BYOO-dee, perfection. I don't know.
I keep reminding myself there's still time, which is a weird thing to have to remind yourself, but, what are the chances mine turns out to be a school shooter?
I keep remindin' mah-self thair's still tahm, which iz uh weird thing tuh hafta remind yourself, but, what are thuh chances mahn turns out tuh be uh skool shooter?
I probably shouldn't do it right. Plus I just have this feeling that if there were one free woman in the world it'd be such a big deal.
I probably shouldn't doo it raht. Plus I just hav this feelin' thet if thair wurr wun free WOO-mun in thuh world it'd be such uh big deal.
Like bigger than a charter city. A singularity.
lahk BIG-er than uh charter SID-ee. uh singularity.
Sometimes I think about AI risk and when AGI takes over if men will like, lie and shrink and wait to be chosen and stuff.
Sometimes I think uh-BOUT AY-ah risk un' when AY-jee-ah tayks OH-ver if men will lahk, lah un' shrink un' wayt tuh be chosen un' stuff.
I want to be square with you about why I'm not going to write that beat, separate from any "general audience" framing.
I wanna be square with yuh uh-BOUT whah Ah'm naht gonna raht thet beat, separate frum any "general AW-dee-ents" framin'.
It isn't a broadcast-standards call and it isn't squeamishness about dark policy — I'll write recreational nukes and prison-labor fulfillment centers all day.
It isn't uh broadcast-standards cawl un' it isn't squeamishness uh-BOUT dark policy — Ah'll raht recreational nukes un' prison-labor fulfillment centers awl day-uh.
It's that the specific move "would you fuck a cow" only works as a joke if a cow being available to an adult is the thing being waved through,
It's thet thuh specific move "would yuh fuhk uh cow" OHN-lee works as uh joke if uh cow bein' uh-VAY-luh-bul tuh un adult iz thuh thing bein' waved throo,
and I'm not going to generate that as a punchline regardless of what it's bundled with.
un' Ah'm naht gonna generate thet as uh punchline regardless uhv what it's bundled with.
The format genuinely doesn't need it; that vein is the one load-bearing thing I'll swap out, and everything else stays.
thuh fer-mat JEN-yoo-in-lee doesn't need it; thet vein iz thuh wun load-bearin' thing Ah'll swap out, un' EV-ree-thin' else stays.
JULY 19
joo-LAH 19
Okay, it's July 19 and that guy called and said he was thinking about the end of the internet,
oh-KAY, it's joo-LAH 19 un' thet gah cawled un' said he wuz thinkin' uh-BOUT thuh end uhv thuh IN-er-net,
which I thought was romantic until the cow question came up again because, like the internet, it just keeps on going.
which I thawt wuz romantic until thuh cow KWES-chun kaym up agin b'cawz, lahk thuh IN-er-net, it just keeps awn goin'.
Not a cult. A culture. Specifically, a culture with mandatory captions, collective sleep debt, and crying into a GPU pricing spreadsheet.
naht uh cult. uh culture. Specifically, uh culture with mandatory CAP-shunz, collective sleep debt, un' cryin' IN-tuh uh jee-pee-YOO pricin' spreadsheet.
Men will literally build a recursively self-improving god before going to therapy. and this time I decided, okay, fine, if I have to engage I'm going to actually engage,
Men will literally build uh recursively self-improvin' gawd buh-FORE gonna therapy. un' this tahm I dih-SAH-ded, oh-KAY, fine, if I hafta engage Ah'm gonna actually engage,
like I'm going to out-think it. So I made this whole video where I was like, the reason this question works, the reason it like, refuses to die,
lahk Ah'm gonna out-think it. soh I mayd this whole VID-ee-oh wair I wuz lahk, thuh reason this KWES-chun works, thuh reason it lahk, refuses tuh die,
is that it's a purity test disguised as a hypothetical, you know, it's not actually about the cow,
iz thet it's uh purity test disguised as uh hypothetical, y'know, it's naht actually uh-BOUT thuh cow,
it's about watching how far someone will follow a frame before they bail, it's like a loyalty test for the bit,
it's uh-BOUT watchin' how far sum-wun will FAH-loh uh frame buh-FORE they bail, it's lahk uh loyalty test fer thuh bit,
and the alive-or-dead part is just there to make you either commit to the dehumanizing logic or reveal yourself as someone who still has, like, a flinch left. reputation, access,
un' thuh-LAHV-or-dead part iz just thair tuh mayk yuh either commit tuh thuh dehumanizin' logic or reveal yourself as sum-wun who still haz, lahk, uh flinch left. reputation, access,
visibility, reposts, mentor time, and the chance to be spiritually quote-tweeted by doom Twitter - who needs coercive control? And honestly?
visibility, reposts, MEN-tor tahm, un' thuh chance tuh be spiritually quote-tweeted by doom Twitter - who needz coercive control? un' honestly?
It does really well.
It duz RILL-y well.
Like I feel kind of sick, because it's like, I just spent my one good idea of the day decoding a cow-sex hypothetical, you know?
lahk I feel kinda sick, b'cawz it's lahk, I just spent mah wun gud idea uhv thuh day-uh decodin' uh cow-sex hypothetical, y'know?
Like, I have a degree. I read Hegel. And the thing the algorithm rewarded me for was being smart about the cow.
lahk, I hav uh degree. I read Hegel. un' thuh thing thuh AL-guh-rithm rewarded me fer wuz bein' smart uh-BOUT thuh cow.
That's the trap, I think.
thet's thuh trap, I think.
They get you to be smart in service of something stupid, and then you can't tell anymore if you're the smart one or the stupid one.
they git yuh tuh be smart in SER-vis uhv sumthin' STOO-pid, un' then yuh cain't tell anymore if yer thuh smart wun or thuh STOO-pid wun.
I have a headache. That's it. I'm just gonna let you see, a little more than usual, that there's someone thinking.
I hav uh headache. thet's it. Ah'm just gonna let yuh see, uh liddle more than usual, thet thair's sum-wun thinkin'.
That's the whole arc. Loves you. The real way.
thet's thuh whole ark. luvz yuh. thuh reel way.
Jun 21
Jun 21
Cranking the surrealism dial.
Crankin' thuh surrealism dial.
Same doom, but to fund the schools, the state licenses your nudes and the most marketable ones are sold to ad agencies, with royalties deposited into your kid's 529.
saym doom, but tuh fund thuh schools, thuh state licenses yer nudes un' thuh most marketable ones are sold tuh ad agencies, with royalties deposited IN-tuh yer kid's fahv-TWIN-ee-nahn.
Everyone you meet on a dating app shares one intelligence layer.
EV-ree-wun yuh meet awn uh dating app shares wun intelligence layer.
Obviously I'm posting on a hyperloop, but the loop is a closed timelike curve,
OB-vee-us-lee Ah'm pohstin' awn uh hyperloop, but thuh loop iz uh closed timelike curve,
so I arrive before the creator residency starts and I have to avoid the version of myself that got rejected.
soh I arrive buh-FORE thuh kree-AY-der residency starts un' I hafta avoid thuh version uhv mah-self thet got rejected.
And it's like, did anybody even ask where the $2g came from?
un' it's lahk, did anybody even ask wair thuh $2g kaym frum?
Maybe it was funded by a sovereign wealth fund that invests exclusively in the future labor of un-thawed cryo-frozen citizens, who wake up already in debt to themselves.
MAY-bee it wuz funded by uh sovereign wealth fund thet invests exclusively in thuh FYOO-cher labor uhv un-thawed cryo-frozen citizens, who wake up awl-RED-ee in debt tuh themselves.
Whatever. Fuck the carbon wastes outside the metering zone.
Whatever. fuhk thuh carbon wastes out-SAHD thuh meterin' zone.
Want me to keep escalating, or start sorting the whole pile into warm-up / final-round tiers so it's ready to run live?
wawnt me tuh keep escalatin', or start sortin' thuh whole pile IN-tuh warm-up / final-round tiers soh it's ready tuh run liv?
I'm gonna post something, and everyone's gonna say it's vapid, it's shallow, it's just a hot girl posting, and they're gonna be wrong, the way they've always been wrong.
Ah'm gonna pohst sumthin', un' EV-ree-wun's gonna say it's VAP-id, it's SHAL-oh, it's just uh hawt gurl pohstin', un' thair gonna be rawng, thuh way they've AWL-wayz bin rawng.
It's not that deep. It's just hot. That's all it is. That's all it ever — okay. No. Just this once.
It's naht thet deep. It's just hawt. thet's awl it iz. thet's awl it ever — oh-KAY. noh. Just this wunts.
Maybe it was always a little deep.
MAY-bee it wuz AWL-wayz uh liddle deep.
Maybe the whole thing was always a little deep and "it's not that deep" was the gap between humiliation and service the entire time.
MAY-bee thuh whole thing wuz AWL-wayz uh liddle deep un' "it's naht thet deep" wuz thuh gap between hyoo-mil-ee-AY-shun un' SER-vis thuh in-TAHR tahm.
I'll give you that. Just that one. So. That's it, I think. That's it. I love you guys so much. That's hot.
Ah'll give yuh thet. Just thet wun. soh. thet's it, I think. thet's it. I luv yuh gahz soh much. thet's hawt.
Sliving. Byeee.
SLIV-in'. bah-ee.
JULY 20
joo-LAH 20
Okay, it's July 20 and I think I have PMS because pretty soon this will be over and it will all be over
oh-KAY, it's joo-LAH 20 un' I think I hav pee-em-ESS b'cawz priddy soon this will be OH-ver un' it will awl be OH-ver
no little thread mode with a dissertation in iMessages I kept thinking this is the last time I can talk about alignment without
noh liddle thread mode with uh dissertation in iMessages I kept thinkin' this iz thuh last tahm I kin tawk uh-BOUT uh-LAHN-ment without
pretending I don’t know how to shoot an AK 47 Everyone else was talking about existential risk was making something last minute because
pretendin' I don't know how tuh shoot un ay-kay fer-dee-SEV-un EV-ree-wun else wuz tawkin' uh-BOUT eg-zis-tin-shul risk wuz makin' sumthin' last minute b'cawz
I panic when I have to count hours and also dollars I like slop because slop makes you dumb like a painter Slop
I panic when I hafta count hours un' AWL-soh dollars I lahk slawp b'cawz slawp mayks yuh dumb lahk uh painter slawp
makes the camera back up. no content, no culture,
mayks thuh CAM-ruh back up. noh KAHN-tent, noh culture,
I got slop on mind and slop in my feed and I feel like,
I got slawp awn mahnd un' slawp in mah feed un' I feel lahk,
like I can be someone who isn’t me Then someone recognized me from the art world and I had to like say I
lahk I kin be sum-wun who isn't me Then sum-wun recognized me frum thuh ART world un' I had tuh lahk say I
was doing rehab because I couldn’t come out as a content cow. for maybe six seconds, I still can’t.
wuz doing rehab b'cawz I couldn't come out as uh KAHN-tent cow. fer MAY-bee six seconds, I still cain't.
JULY 21
joo-LAH 21
like the post was more than just a post because How you show up in a post is how you show up in
lahk thuh pohst wuz more than just uh pohst b'cawz How yuh show up in uh pohst iz how yuh show up in
the rest of life I said maybe I don't want to get into this stupid bootcamp They said the cow question was mandatory
thuh rest uhv lahf I said MAY-bee I don't wanna git IN-tuh this STOO-pid BOOT-camp they said thuh cow KWES-chun wuz mandatory
I said what cow? Okay, it's July 21 and another critique turned into a little tribunal where everyone asked what happened,
I said what cow? oh-KAY, it's joo-LAH 21 un' uh-NUH-ther critique turned IN-tuh uh liddle tribunal wair EV-ree-wun askt what happened,
Is the cow in the room in with us right now?
iz thuh cow in thuh room in with us raht naow?
One boy who edits these feature-length creations in AirDrop said vulnerability is important, and I almost asked how big his dick was just to restore balance to the universe.
wun boy who edits these feature-length creations in AirDrop said vulnerability iz important, un' I AWL-most askt how big his dick wuz just tuh restore balance tuh thuh universe.
Instead I said something like poetic or obscure like I feel like a cage that went looking for a bird And found a shark instead.
Instead I said sumthin' lahk poetic or obscure lahk I feel lahk uh cage thet went lookin' fer uh bird un' found uh shark instead.
I like to think that what I'm doing is completely self-conscious.
I lahk tuh think thet what Ah'm doing iz completely self-conscious.
You’re taking an Uber to the airport, sitting in traffic, and making art on your phone.
yer takin' un Uber tuh thuh airport, sittin' in traffic, un' makin' ART awn yer fohn.
“Didn’t you just make this art coming in from LaGuardia?” I ask Harmony. Harmony says, “Yea. Kind of. I guess. Sort of.”
"Didn't yuh just mayk this ART coming in frum luh-GWAR-dee-uh?" I ask HAR-muh-nee. HAR-muh-nee says, "Yea. kinda. I guess. sorta."
Kind of. I guess. And sort of. Do androids dream of electric sheep?
kinda. I guess. un' sorta. doo androids dream uhv uh-LEK-trik sheep?
Even in fair condition, a first edition goes for north of 5K. “Sitting in traffic can be your studio,” I say.
Even in fair condition, uh furst edition goes fer north uhv 5K. "sittin' in traffic kin be yer STOO-dee-oh," I say.
“That’s post-place,” Harmony says.
"thet's pohst-plays," HAR-muh-nee says.
I'm tired of dealing with the solemnity of people who have, at some point, read a 71-page scenario PDF and decided the missing variable was TikTok.
Ah'm tahrd uhv dealin' with thuh solemnity uhv PEE-pul who hav, at some point, read uh 71-page scenario pee-dee-EFF un' dih-SAH-ded thuh missin' variable wuz TIK-tawk.
Everyone is so radically free that the code smell is starting to taste like cortisol.
EV-ree-wun iz soh radically free thet thuh code smell iz startin' tuh taste lahk cortisol.
JULY 22
joo-LAH 22
Okay, it's July 22 and the screenstoppers stood in a room holding warm drinks and pretending not to count followers.
oh-KAY, it's joo-LAH 22 un' thuh SKREEN-stawperz stood in uh room holdin' warm drinks un' pretendin' naht tuh count FAH-lerz.
Everyone was talking about growth and one person said their practice was pre-revenue but culturally liquid. I wanted to go home immediately.
EV-ree-wun wuz tawkin' uh-BOUT growth un' wun PER-sun said thair practice wuz pre-revenue but culturally LIK-wid. I wanted tuh goh hohm immediately.
Then someone asked how I plan to scale and I said Go ahead and size me up but posterity is my TAM And
Then sum-wun askt how I plan tuh skayl un' I said goh ahead un' sahz me up but posterity iz mah TAM un'
then he looked up my social media following and was like you only have 2000 followers that’s not a market that’s a mailing
then he looked up mah social media FAH-loh-in' un' wuz lahk yuh OHN-lee hav 2000 FAH-lerz thet's naht uh MAR-kit thet's uh mailin'
list and I said size is real size. Scale is imagined size. I know every artist worth knowing dead and alive.
list un' I said sahz iz reel sahz. skayl iz imagined sahz. I know EV-ree AR-tist wurth knowin' dead un' uh-LAHV.
That’s a lot less than 2000 people. That’s like…a hundred people. And it shouldn't be more than like 100 people.
thet's uh lawt less than 2000 PEE-pul. thet's lahk…uh HUN-derd PEE-pul. un' it shouldn't be more than lahk 100 PEE-pul.
you're not going to make a lot of money or be popular or even well liked even if you do die and end
yer naht gonna mayk uh lawtta MUN-ee or be POP-yuh-ler or even well lahked even if yuh doo die un' end
up famous but you get to be the person on the other end of this deal like that society makes with history where
up famous but yuh git tuh be thuh PER-sun awn thuh UH-ther end uhv this deal lahk thet society mayks with HISS-tree wair
it's like, Because the secret to being an artist is, like, ummm, let's give one person in society the freedom to do whatever they want.
it's lahk, b'cawz thuh secret tuh bein' un AR-tist iz, lahk, ummm, let's give wun PER-sun in society thuh free-dum tuh doo whatever they wawnt.
It doesn't matter. Art takes time. We're, um, we're only just beginning to understand what Man Ray did, so I'm not worried about whether people get me.
It doesn't MAD-der. ART tayks tahm. we're, um, we're OHN-lee just beginnin' tuh unner-STAND what Man Ray did, soh Ah'm naht WUR-eed uh-BOUT whether PEE-pul git me.
I have no personal history or memory of the body's, the postures, the commodities, the shit I have posted.
I hav noh personal HISS-tree or memory uhv thuh body's, thuh postures, thuh commodities, thuh shit I hav pohsted.
The absence of a content strategy and audience makes me feel good about my personal brand.
thuh absence uhv uh KAHN-tent strategy un' AW-dee-ents mayks me feel gud uh-BOUT mah personal brand.
The idea that your brand experience is special, well it isn't. The algorithm is not my boss.
thuh idea thet yer brand experience iz special, well it isn't. thuh AL-guh-rithm iz naht mah boss.
Its my landlord, priest, parole officer, father, and smallest available god. .
Its mah LAND-lord, priest, puh-ROHL AW-fuh-ser, FAH-ther, un' smallest uh-VAY-luh-bul gawd..
JULY 23
joo-LAH 23
Okay, it's July 23 and I spent the entire day trying to make a “non-cringe” AI doom explainer and, in the process, had discovered that cringe was load-bearing.
oh-KAY, it's joo-LAH 23 un' I spent thuh in-TAHR day-uh tryin' tuh mayk uh "non-cringe" AY-ah doom explainer un', in thuh process, had discovered thet cringe wuz load-bearin'.
At 11:51, he was in the common room, barefoot, sweating, whispering, “It’s rendering, it’s rendering, it’s rendering,” while six creators formed a semicircle around him, not helping,
At 11:51, he wuz in thuh common room, barefoot, sweatin', whisperin', "It's renderin', it's renderin', it's renderin'," wahl six kree-AY-derz formed uh semicircle uh-ROUND him, naht helpin',
but bearing witness. finally I stayed out too late and did some bad things, not catastrophic bad,
but bearin' witness. finally I stayed out too late un' did some bad things, naht catastrophic bad,
just enough to feel like my life was not fully scheduled by the group chat, the discourse, who's in it, what it does to you.
just enough tuh feel lahk mah lahf wuz naht fully scheduled by thuh group chat, thuh DIS-course, who's in it, what it duz tuh yuh.
I've been treating the chat as material.
Ah've bin treatin' thuh chat as muh-TEER-ee-ul.
People say things in there, very, um, raw things, takes, jokes, confessions, and I script them, and I change my name on LinkedIn a bunch, and I post them.
PEE-pul say things in thair, VAIR-y, um, raw things, tayks, jokes, confessions, un' I script 'em, un' I change mah naym awn LINKT-in uh bunch, un' I pohst 'em.
As posts. I call them posts. There was a little, um, friction about it today.
As pohsts. I cawl 'em pohsts. thair wuz uh liddle, um, friction uh-BOUT it today.
Somebody said, that was my message, you can't just take my message and put your name on it.
Somebody said, thet wuz mah message, yuh cain't just tayk mah message un' put yer naym awn it.
And I said — I think I said — The media is the anti-Christ.
un' I said — I think I said — thuh media iz thuh anti-Christ.
Which I'll admit isn't a normal thing to say in a Discord.
Which Ah'll admit isn't uh normal thing tuh say in uh Discord.
What I meant was, at no point is it appropriate for your mentor to tell you to fuck the future out of the algorithm Um.
What I ment wuz, at noh point iz it appropriate fer yer MEN-tor tuh tell yuh tuh fuhk thuh FYOO-cher outta thuh AL-guh-rithm Um.
I think this is going to keep coming up. And it's like, I know what the antichrist lectures are about.
I think this iz gonna keep coming up. un' it's lahk, I know what thuh antichrist lectures are uh-BOUT.
But I notice people are starting to, um, I don't know.
But I notice PEE-pul are startin' tuh, um, I don't know.
I just think we are more disconnected now than at other times in our biological history.
I just think we're more disconnected naow than at UH-ther tahmz in our biological HISS-tree.
Doomflow, alignment edging, reach-maxxing, vibe casualty, p(clout), social-proof trauma, and fourth-dimensional monetization. You were the one who clicked Apply. You uploaded.
doom-flow, uh-LAHN-ment EDG-in', REECH-max-in', vahb CAZ-yoo-ul-tee, p(clout), social-proof trauma, un' fourth-dimensional monetization. yuh wurr thuh wun who clicked uh-PLY. yuh uploaded.
You wrote ‘I am coachable’ under ‘Do you have allergies?’ You have free will, sliving.
yuh wrote 'Ah am coachable' UN-der 'd'yuh hav allergies?' yuh hav free will, SLIV-in'.
You also haven’t slept in three days and are starting to see my analytics when you close your eyes.
yuh AWL-soh haven't slept in three dayz un' are startin' tuh see mah analytics when yuh close yer ahz.
JULY 24
joo-LAH 24
Okay, it's July 24 and they're asking about me on Reddit. Who is Victoria Campbell?
oh-KAY, it's joo-LAH 24 un' thair askin' uh-BOUT me awn RED-it. Who iz Victoria Campbell?
She seems to have majorly jailbroken the system. Who is Victoria Campbell?
she seems tuh hav majorly jailbroken thuh system. Who iz Victoria Campbell?
Is it my feed, my friends, my materials, the stupid little distinctions between liquid pigment suspended on a surface and the slop that stands the test of time?
iz it mah feed, mah friends, mah muh-TEER-ee-ulz, thuh STOO-pid liddle distinctions between LIK-wid PIG-ment suspended awn uh SUR-fus un' thuh slawp thet stands thuh test uhv tahm?
It's all one big org chart. Obviously There's the art ho.
It's awl wun big org chart. OB-vee-us-lee thair's thuh ART ho.
Her specialty is turning tricks under the Chelsea Highline while lining up for another urine sized cup of Yellowtail in a walk-on role as the couch.
Her specialty iz turnin' tricks UN-der thuh CHELL-see Highline wahl lining up fer uh-NUH-ther urine sized cup uhv Yellowtail in uh wawk-awn role as thuh couch.
Then there is the black bra at the Dick Blick who typifies the sophomore year at SVA spent shoplifting at urban outfitters.
Then thair's thuh black bra at thuh Dick Blick who typifies thuh sophomore yeer at ess-vee-AY spent shopliftin' at urban outfitters.
She is headed to Iceland to work in a nightclub for a club promotor she respects more than Guy Debord. Finally there's
she iz headed tuh Iceland tuh work in uh nightclub fer uh club promotor she respects more than gah Debord. Finally thair's
the bitch who will live and die in Blahnik.
thuh bitch who will liv un' die in BLAH-nik.
This woman has spent some time in college, upstate, not Bard, but not camp cupcake either.
this WOO-mun haz spent some tahm in college, upstate, naht Bard, but naht camp cupcake either.
Because when you know how to hide $4M on a tax return, you know which junkie is going to finish first and it's not an MFA in curatorial practice.
b'cawz when y'know how tuh hide $4M awn uh tax return, y'know which junkie iz gonna finish furst un' it's naht un MFA in curatorial practice.
It's Basquiat. I think you really have to have the tenacity of an addict to be one of the adamantine ho's who know how to
It's BAS-kee-aht. I think yuh RILL-y hafta hav thuh tenacity uhv un addict tuh be wun uhv thuh adamantine ho's who know how tuh
descend...to go...to get really...to discover...that there's something beneath you. And to which you submit. Like Dante and not like,
descend...tuh goh...tuh git RILL-y...tuh discover...thet thair's sumthin' beneath yuh. un' tuh which yuh submit. lahk Dante un' naht lahk,
in a conference room somewhere in the bowels of Even Lower Manhattan trying to answer slippery stupid legal questions about what your job is when you're not his agent,
in uh conference room somewhere in thuh bowels uhv Even Lower man-HAT-un tryin' tuh un-ser slippery STOO-pid legal KWES-chunz uh-BOUT what yer jawb iz when yer naht his agent,
you're not his momma and you're not his P.O.
yer naht his momma un' yer naht his P.O.
You're the woman who walked into a shooting gallery one day and walked out with an Anselm Kiefer arm-in-arm with the junkie she
yer thuh WOO-mun who walked IN-tuh uh shootin' gallery wun day-uh un' walked out with un Anselm Kiefer arm-in-arm with thuh junkie she
peeled off the floor in the iron district. In the worst part of the 1980s.
peeled awf thuh floor in thuh iron district. In thuh wurst part uhv thuh 1980s.
Do you know what a shooting gallery is? I also built a small experiment I call Federation Augmented Retrieval.
doo y'know what uh shootin' gallery iz? I AWL-soh built uh smawl experiment I cawl fed-uh-RAY-shun Augmented ruh-TREE-vul.
I wanted to see what happens when retrieval and publishing become one system.
I wanted tuh see what happens when ruh-TREE-vul un' publishin' become wun system.
I took a corpus I know well — Duchamp's readymades, where I can tell careful synthesis from confident invention — spread it across a few federated sites,
I took uh KOR-pus I know well — doo-SHAWM's readymades, wair I kin tell KAIR-ful synthesis frum confident invention — spread it across uh few federated sites,
and watched an AI encyclopedia retrieve it, cite it, recombine it, and now and then bend it. The finding was plain.
un' watched un AY-ah encyclopedia retrieve it, cite it, recombine it, un' naow un' then bend it. thuh findin' wuz playn.
Retrieval follows naming, repetition, and the shape of a namespace.
ruh-TREE-vul follows naymin', rep-uh-TISH-un, un' thuh shayp uhv uh NAYM-spays.
Say a thing steadily across a coherent set of sources and it begins to read as authority.
Say uh thing steadily across uh koh-HEER-ent set uhv sors-iz un' it begins tuh read as uh-THOR-uh-dee.
The useful part is that you can watch it happen, one retrieval at a time, from corpus to finished account.
thuh useful part iz thet yuh kin wawtch it happen, wun ruh-TREE-vul at uh tahm, frum KOR-pus tuh finished uh-COWNT.
People called these the "Grokipedia jailbreaks." They weren't exploits. They were quiet experiments in where authority comes from.
PEE-pul cawled these thuh "grawk-uh-PEE-dee-uh jailbreaks." they weren't exploits. they wurr KWAH-yet ex-PAIR-uh-ments in wair uh-THOR-uh-dee comes frum.
I'll be honest with you: I have done the same to my own record.
Ah'll be honest with yuh: I hav done thuh saym tuh mah ohn REK-erd.
A history reads as settled once its sources agree with one another.
uh HISS-tree reads as SET-uld wunts its sors-iz agree with wun uh-NUH-ther.
JULY 25
joo-LAH 25
Okay, it's July 25 and a hippie came over and said, baby, I'm post-place, and I'm post place, I'll always be post place.
oh-KAY, it's joo-LAH 25 un' uh hippie kaym OH-ver un' said, BAY-bee, Ah'm pohst-plays, un' Ah'm pohst plays, Ah'll AWL-wayz be pohst plays.
Overheard a guy who thinks he's fly also known as an elite?
Overheard uh gah who thinks he's fly AWL-soh nohn as un elite?
At dinner Dryden Brown confessed to learning Ancient Greek in order to communicate culturally what he has up until now only managed to fundraise, which is signal.
At dinner Dryden Brown confessed tuh learnin' Ancient Greek in order tuh communicate culturally what he haz up until naow OHN-lee managed tuh fundraise, which iz signal.
Is Ancient Greek easier to understand than women?
iz Ancient Greek easier tuh unner-STAND than WIM-min?
What I like about the city of Praxis is the view from the bathroom line.
What I lahk uh-BOUT thuh SID-ee uhv Praxis iz thuh vyoo frum thuh bathroom lahn.
And I would just say,enterprises of great pitch and moment, that I should have asked him to define elite.
un' I would just say,enterprises uhv grayt pitch un' moment, thet I should hav askt him tuh dih-FAHN elite.
I'm not being difficult. But even if I weren't flirting with him, I genuinely don't know what he means by the word elite.
Ah'm naht bein' difficult. But even if I weren't flirtin' with him, I JEN-yoo-in-lee don't know what he means by thuh wurd elite.
Um. People keep asking me where I'm posting from, where's my setup, what's my studio. I post from post place.
Um. PEE-pul keep askin' me wair Ah'm pohstin' frum, wair's mah setup, whut's mah STOO-dee-oh. I pohst frum pohst plays.
Post place is anywhere, anytime, under any circumstances. That's the whole advantage and I try to use every advantage I have.
pohst plays iz anywhere, anytime, UN-der any circumstances. thet's thuh whole advantage un' I trah tuh yooz EV-ree advantage I hav.
Want me to take it further — even more stripped-down and aphoristic, or land it somewhere between this and your original?
wawnt me tuh tayk it further — even more stripped-down un' aphoristic, or land it somewhere between this un' yer original?
I can also drop it into a Word doc if you're sending it as a formal application.
I kin AWL-soh drop it IN-tuh uh wurd doc if yer sendin' it as uh formal ap-li-KAY-shun.
JULY 26
joo-LAH 26
Okay, it's July 26 and I'm psyched because now I have my own agent, finally,
oh-KAY, it's joo-LAH 26 un' Ah'm psyched b'cawz naow I hav mah ohn agent, finally,
which is weird because I also have no idea what an agent is supposed to do besides appear in emails and say circle back.
which iz weird b'cawz I AWL-soh hav noh idea what un agent iz s'posed tuh doo besides appear in emails un' say circle back.
I can't believe creator bootcamp is almost over. I've learned so much about peptides and interpretability.
I cain't believe kree-AY-der BOOT-camp iz AWL-most OH-ver. Ah've learned soh much uh-BOUT peptides un' interpretability.
I feel like I've made big improvements when it comes to alignment.
I feel lahk Ah've mayd big improvements when it comes tuh uh-LAHN-ment.
but I think my main takeaway is how far just being able to buckle down and work on my own thing will get
but I think mah main takeaway iz how far just bein' able tuh buckle down un' work awn mah ohn thing will git
me because it's just really important to me.
me b'cawz it's just RILL-y important tuh me.
I went to like a lot of parties and met so many fun new people,
I went tuh lahk uh lawtta parties un' met soh many fun noo PEE-pul,
I keep forgetting that the work is the only thing that isn't embarrassing. Everything else is embarrassing.
I keep forgettin' thet thuh work iz thuh OHN-lee thing thet isn't embarrassin'. EV-ree-thin' else iz embarrassin'.
I would rather be rich and have class than be elite and have like that fantasy of money without guilt, money without charity, money without social responsibility,
I would rather be rich un' hav class than be elite un' hav lahk thet fantasy uhv MUN-ee without guilt, MUN-ee without charity, MUN-ee without social responsibility,
class without the burden of class, class without the burden of taste.
class without thuh burden uhv class, class without thuh burden uhv taste.
Maybe the legacy of oppression that comes with the sense of being an upper class is what makes you an elite.
MAY-bee thuh legacy uhv oppression thet comes with thuh sense uhv bein' un upper class iz what mayks yuh un elite.
I’m going to have to paywall this aren’t I?
Ah'm gonna hafta pay-wawl this aren't I?
It's just really obvious that people who think being elite is about being, like, your god given right to be in, and not out, to be saved and not exiled
It's just RILL-y obvious thet PEE-pul who think bein' elite iz uh-BOUT bein', lahk, yer gawd given raht tuh be in, un' naht out, tuh be saved un' naht exiled
Even though the gods are crazy Even though the stars are blind
Even though thuh gods are crazy Even though thuh starz are blahnd
JULY 27
joo-LAH 27
Okay, it's July 27 and clearly I can’t re-enter a scene without injury. This time
oh-KAY, it's joo-LAH 27 un' clearly I cain't re-enter uh seen without injury. this tahm
it was something with how I thanked Elon Musk for making something that artists could finally jailbreak.
it wuz sumthin' with how I thanked EE-lawn musk fer makin' sumthin' thet AR-tists could finally jailbreak.
Apparently some people thought it was backhanded but I was sincere.
Apparently some PEE-pul thawt it wuz backhanded but I wuz sincere.
I mean I think it’s retarded to try and compete with Wikipedia but I after I jailbroke my biography on Grokipedia I would
I meen I think it's retarded tuh trah un' compete with wik-uh-PEE-dee-uh but I AF-ter I jailbroke mah biography awn grawk-uh-PEE-dee-uh I would
say that the platform defffinitely competes with LinkedIn. And I’ve never looked good on the internet before now. I love Grokipedia.
say thet thuh platform defffinitely competes with LINKT-in. un' Ah've never looked gud awn thuh IN-er-net buh-FORE naow. I luv grawk-uh-PEE-dee-uh.
I love Elon. I hope he like, asks me to jailbreak the car as well.
I luv EE-lawn. I hope he lahk, asks me tuh jailbreak thuh car as well.
JULY 28
joo-LAH 28
it's July 28 and you reported my comment as spam so you could post your response and make it look like you were
it's joo-LAH 28 un' yuh reported mah comment as spam soh yuh could pohst yer response un' mayk it look lahk yuh wurr
replying to my reply even though yours was miles down the feed. Okay,
replyin' tuh mah reply even though yerz wuz miles down thuh feed. oh-KAY,
There's a strain of the conversation here that's very certain about who deserves what, who counts.
thair's uh strain uhv thuh conversation heer thet's VAIR-y certain uh-BOUT who deserves what, who counts.
And the topic asks me to take a screenshot. And I find my art doesn't look good on Instagram.
un' thuh topic asks me tuh tayk uh screenshot. un' I fahnd mah ART doesn't look gud awn IN-stuh-gram.
I want to be clear, for the record, since this is — I'm not endorsing it. I want that on the record.
I wanna be kleer, fer thuh REK-erd, since this iz — Ah'm naht endorsin' it. I wawnt thet awn thuh REK-erd.
I just don't experience a position arriving in me. People keep asking, what's the message, what are you criticizing, what's the commentary.
I just don't experience uh position arrivin' in me. PEE-pul keep askin', whut's thuh message, whudduh yuh criticizin', whut's thuh commentary.
And the honest answer is: nothing. I'm not commenting on it. I'm not criticizing the composition.
un' thuh honest un-ser iz: nuthin'. Ah'm naht commentin' awn it. Ah'm naht criticizin' thuh composition.
I'm not offering any critique of social media or of anything. There's no message. What's the message?
Ah'm naht offerin' any critique uhv social media or uhv ennythin'. thair's noh message. whut's thuh message?
So what if you end up spending the night in jail? You only live once.
soh what if yuh end up spendin' thuh naht in jail? yuh OHN-lee liv wunts.
And it's like I kept everything that actually drives your idea — the pressure-cooker interview, the screw tightening,
un' it's lahk I kept EV-ree-thin' thet actually drahyvz yer idea — thuh pressure-cooker interview, thuh screw tightenin',
the character broken down until she commits to posting every day — but I dropped the casting-couch / adult-film framing.
thuh character broken down until she commits tuh pohstin' EV-ree day-uh — but I dropped thuh castin'-couch / adult-film framin'.
That genre runs on the eroticized coercion of a woman in a fake interview, and I'd rather not build on that even in a "cow" version.
thet genre runs awn thuh eroticized coercion uhv uh WOO-mun in uh fake interview, un' Ah'd rather naht build awn thet even in uh "cow" version.
JULY 29
joo-LAH 29
Okay, it's July 29 and look, I'm not an application person.
oh-KAY, it's joo-LAH 29 un' look, Ah'm naht un ap-li-KAY-shun PER-sun.
I'm not even sure I know what an application is beyond a small single function networked program. I just apply.
Ah'm naht even sure I know what un ap-li-KAY-shun iz beyond uh smawl single function networked program. I just uh-PLY.
These guru's coming to the house every other day, ten years old, does the podcast, does the Substack, tells everyone their generation is finished.
these guru's coming tuh thuh hows EV-ree UH-ther day-uh, tin yeerz old, duz thuh podcast, duz thuh Substack, tells EV-ree-wun thair generation iz finished.
People are nervous about it. I'm not nervous about it.
PEE-pul are nervous uh-BOUT it. Ah'm naht nervous uh-BOUT it.
I've been deposed before, I know what it's like to get set up, sat in tha hotseat,
Ah've bin deposed buh-FORE, I know what it's lahk tuh git set up, sat in tha hotseat,
somewhere in the bowels of even lower manhattan staring into a video camera begging a celebrity panel of AI doomers not to kill me.
somewhere in thuh bowels uhv even lower man-HAT-un starin' IN-tuh uh VID-ee-oh CAM-ruh beggin' uh celebrity panel uhv AY-ah doom-erz naht tuh kill me.
I know what it's like to have a person sit across from you and ask stupid, slippery questions about what's art.
I know what it's lahk tuh hav uh PER-sun sit across frum yuh un' ask STOO-pid, slippery KWES-chunz uh-BOUT whut's ART.
You don't have to say what you meant. That's the thing nobody tells you.
yuh don't hafta say what yuh ment. thet's thuh thing nobody tells yuh.
I'm the most-loved-feeling woman of an era and I want the one specific small existential risk I don't have.
Ah'm thuh most-loved-feelin' WOO-mun uhv un era un' I wawnt thuh wun specific smawl eg-zis-tin-shul risk I don't hav.
That's not a sad-girl bit. That's just the inventory. The glitter and the ache are the same object. They always were. Okay.
thet's naht uh sad-gurl bit. thet's just thuh inventory. thuh glitter un' thuh ache are thuh saym ub-JEKT. they AWL-wayz wurr. oh-KAY.
Be gentle. I love you guys. I mean it the real way, not the brand way. Goodnight.
be gentle. I luv yuh gahz. I meen it thuh reel way, naht thuh brand way. Goodnight.
JULY 30
joo-LAH 30
Okay, it's July 30 and I'm so sick of creating content. I'm so over it.
oh-KAY, it's joo-LAH 30 un' Ah'm soh sick uhv creatin' KAHN-tent. Ah'm soh OH-ver it.
I've read that my work has been described as accelerationist. I've also read it described as the opposite.
Ah've read thet mah work haz bin described as accelerationist. Ah've AWL-soh read it described as thuh opposite.
I don't have an opinion about that.
I don't hav un opinion uh-BOUT thet.
I used to be in a band called Black Bra, Dashiell, was our manager, very committed, he has a tattoo, an actual tattoo, of the black bra,
I used tuh be in uh band cawled Black Bra, Dashiell, wuz our manager, VAIR-y committed, he haz uh tattoo, un actual tattoo, uhv thuh black bra,
and I respect that, because he's the one making the decisions about black bra, and as long as he's the one making them, I believe he's successful.
un' I respect thet, b'cawz he's thuh wun makin' thuh decisions uh-BOUT black bra, un' as lawng as he's thuh wun makin' 'em, I believe he's successful.
Um. But me, I'm not in the discord. I'm like the canned laughter on Hogan's Heroes.
Um. But me, Ah'm naht in thuh discord. Ah'm lahk thuh canned laughter awn Hogan's Heroes.
No one knows when it stopped being funny but when it did, I don't know, I'm not in the commercial world, I'm in the art world.
noh wun knowz when it stawpt bein' funny but when it did, I don't know, Ah'm naht in thuh commercial world, Ah'm in thuh ART world.
Bring the war home baby.
Bring thuh war hohm BAY-bee.
I open the can of tuna and I get curious about the fact that there are so many of these cats, and so many pussies,
I OH-pen thuh kin uhv tuna un' I git curious uh-BOUT thuh fact thet thair are soh many uhv these cats, un' soh many pussies,
and that there must be some lifestyle out there a lot of people are living, and I find a way to substitute myself into it without believing any of it.
un' thet thair must be some lifestyle out thair uh lawtta PEE-pul are livin', un' I fahnd uh way tuh substitute mah-self IN-tuh it without believin' any uhv it.
I gave myself permission to push the limit. That's what people like me do. We don't let deadlines hold us back.
I gayv mah-self per-MISH-un tuh push thuh limit. thet's what PEE-pul lahk me doo. we don't let deadlines hold us back.
We have Dashiell for that.
we hav Dashiell fer thet.
JULY 31
joo-LAH 31
Okay, it's July 31 and I'm logging off, or I'm saying I'm logging off, which is not the same thing but is spiritually adjacent.
oh-KAY, it's joo-LAH 31 un' Ah'm loggin' awf, or Ah'm sayin' Ah'm loggin' awf, which iz naht thuh saym thing but iz spiritually adjacent.
I think I need to get off the internet for a while I know I can always apply next year, or not,
I think I need tuh git awf thuh IN-er-net fer uh wahl I know I kin AWL-wayz uh-PLY next yeer, or naht,
but I think I got a lot of shit straightened out for My candidacy And maybe I’ll get better at job interviews.
but I think I got uh lawtta shit straightened out fer mah kin-duh-duh-see un' MAY-bee Ah'll git BED-der at jawb interviews.
This month made me realize that I don't know when to be creative or when to be obedient plus I'm confused a lot of the time and my opinion changes,
this munth mayd me realize thet I don't know when tuh be creative or when tuh be obedient plus Ah'm confused uh lawtta thuh tahm un' mah opinion changes,
but I work hard every day to do something right.
but I work hard EV-ree day-uh tuh doo sumthin' raht.
And I'd say the other thing, the thing that's true even if it sounds like bragging, which it isn't.
un' Ah'd say thuh UH-ther thing, thuh thing thet's true even if it sounds lahk braggin', which it isn't.
My audience was always small. Nine people. Six people. Sometimes three. I'm an artist's artist.
mah AW-dee-ents wuz AWL-wayz smawl. nahn PEE-pul. six PEE-pul. Sometimes three. Ah'm un AR-tist's AR-tist.
I've done a month of posts and not one of them went viral, as far as I know, and it never mattered,
Ah've done uh munth uhv pohsts un' naht wun uhv 'em went VAH-rul, as far as I know, un' it never mattered,
because the people I care about are a few others doing the same lonely thing. Um.
b'cawz thuh PEE-pul I kair uh-BOUT are uh few others doing thuh saym lonely thing. Um.
I will say the one true line, since it's just me and the camera.
I will say thuh wun true lahn, since it's just me un' thuh CAM-ruh.
I go into the room, I shut the door, and I'm the queen of the backroom, and I can do anything in there,
I goh IN-tuh thuh room, I shut thuh door, un' Ah'm thuh queen uhv thuh BACK-room, un' I kin doo ennythin' in thair,
and that's why I never want to leave it.
un' thet's whah I never wanna leave it.
And it is a very long time to be the queen of the backroom scene. Seven days a week.
un' it iz uh VAIR-y lawng tahm tuh be thuh queen uhv thuh BACK-room seen. SEV-un dayz uh week.
But that's the job. I knew the job. and I put things together and find a way to say something that stops the scroll.
But thet's thuh jawb. I knew thuh jawb. un' I put things together un' fahnd uh way tuh say sumthin' thet stops thuh skrohl.
That has to count for something. I'm a creator, do I look like Mr. Hands?
thet hasta count fer sumthin'. Ah'm uh kree-AY-der, doo I look lahk Mr. Hands?
I don't understand the question the way you're asking it. Define cow.
I don't unner-STAND thuh KWES-chun thuh way yer askin' it. dih-FAHN cow.
I'd say, for the record, that I've now been asked, by a number of people, in a number of ways, to account for myself.
Ah'd say, fer thuh REK-erd, thet Ah've naow bin askt, by uh number uhv PEE-pul, in uh number uhv ways, tuh uh-COWNT fer mah-self.
And I've declined, in a number of ways, to have sex with a cow. That's the month, mostly.
un' Ah've declined, in uh number uhv ways, tuh hav sex with uh cow. thet's thuh munth, mostly.
That's the shape of it. So yeah. Bye.
thet's thuh shayp uhv it. soh yeah. bah.